Little letters

Dear Columbus,

If you could do it all over again, please fill the Nina with vodka, the Pinta with gin and the Santa Maria with whiskey. That way my place of employment would deem it suitable to let us have the day off in celebration of your accomplishments.

Dear Mom,

Thanks for replacing my broken coffee pot. It was nice being able to finally make my own coffee again this morning. When I jokingly asked how long you thought this one would last, it made me smile that you guessed it would be around for awhile, because you had a feeling my next relationship would be a good one.

Love you!

Dear Indy,

Thank you for hosting a food truck festival Friday evening, that we randomly stumbled upon. I really love our downtown and the way you always have little surprises up your sleeve like 15someodd mobile yummies all parked in one lot.

Dear Chase Bank,

You’re on my shit list. I’ll just leave it at that for now. Why you are punishing me for paying down my car loan is beyond my comprehension!?

Dear bloggers who have Captcha enabled,
You guys are on my shit list too. Can you please take it off? I don't think there is anything more annoying.
Although having no email address linked to your blog comes in close 2nd.

Dear Russell,

Even though you do many things that make me giggle, your newfound ritual of peeing on the floor every other morning is not gonna fly. Don’t make me take you back to where you came from.

Dear guy-I-had-a -crush-on-in-high-school-who-now-manages-an-ATT-store,

I’m glad we never dated in HS because it would have probably been a bad breakup and then you would not be nice and remember that I mentioned I wanted a white iPhone so you randomly reserved one for me. You kinda rock and I cannot wait to come pick it up Friday!

You were a big hit at tailgating, my cousin said you tasted like the one’s Elvis made. Well, that’s what we thought he said but apparently he meant “elves”, as in Keebler.

Dear jello shots,

You were also a big hit at tailgating. But then again, you always are. I think there may have been a few too many of you though, we all got pretty happy there towards game time.

Dear soccer,

I used to think you were the worst sport ever. After this weekend I may have a different opinion. I guess you aren’t SO bad.

Dear driveway-sitting-neighbors,

You guys have now adorned your driveway with one of those CocaCola plastic gas station coolers. Really? REALLY? Stay classy neighbors, stay classy.

Dear tires,
Can you magically grow some new tread? Please? I priced your replacements out last week and it's gonna cost me nearly a thousand bucks... sos.

Dear birthday,
You’re next week… and I’m not really looking forward to you. 24 just seems so old to me, compared to 23 and I don’t think I’m ready for it. Can you hold off for a few more months? 

Dear blog,
Where did all these new readers come from?! I happened to notice there's nearly 300 of you guys?! Sheesh I feel serious pressure to actually write something decent one of these days ;) 



Michelle (michabella) said...

I have this strong desire to enable captcha on my blog again... just for you. Because you clearly love it.

Mrs. Mama said...

Dear Chelsea,

thanks for ditching out this weekend. leaving the two non-crafty people to figure out crafts. wonderful. beautiful. you have lots of making up to do....you know, since you're "tight" with Columbus, how about requesting a ship full of BLL. mkay? thanks.

whitney said...

i love this!

great little letters. i agree with the captcha. luckily you told me how to get that email on there or else i would be on the shit list.

EZsx5 said...

Hysterical as always!!! And 24? pssshhhhtttt! I will kick your 24's ass with my 32 ;)

David and Elizabeth said...

yay for little letters!! :)

oh my those colts of ours...glad you had fun tailgating...it was a perfect day yesterday!

Jen said...

I seriously hate the captcha at well!! And btw you are most definitely not getting old!! :)

yourmorninglory said...

love these little letters! great post i may take inspiration from you :) your mom sounds sweet! coffee is crucial :)

Marcy XOXO said...

This made me giggle! Love this post and I think it's a fun idea! I can't believe your that surprised that you have that many readers... You are hilarious! PS I don't know if I have captcha turned on but I am sorry if I do LOL

Caroline said...

Love this! I'm working too. :(

whit said...

grrr i HATE captcha too!

um, a food truck FESTIVAL every Friday? I need to visit this town!

Lacey in the City said...

Can you add to your Columbus note that it would be great if he made some fashion strides along with that discovery of the Americas in his boats full of booze? That way I could have today off too :)

Chelsea @ {twotwentyone} said...

Gah, I detest captcha and no-reply accounts-- especially when someone asks me a question, and I can't answer their question.

That stinks about the tires. I had to do that last November. Not how I wanted to spend $800...

Amanda said...

Love this style of post! You should definitely make a link-up series (I would totally link up). Also, could you email me your address (amanda.romaniello@gmail.com)? I need to get something in the mail for the birthday girl, stat! Also, maybe we can be real blog friends and text once we get our iPhones? I'm at the point where I'm ready to count down the hours...

Mateya said...

What is captcha? Do I have it on my blog?

Be excited. 24 is going to be a great year for you! :)

Food truck festival sounds amazing.

Sarah said...

Love these letters :) You now have an even 300 followers!

TriGirl said...

Came over from Pretty Girls' feature on you! This was a fun post! Congrats on the 300 mark!

Marian said...

I fawking love this...and I fawking love you!!!