Our kind of crazy

Valentine's Day is weird to me.

I'm the kind of girl who shows up to the cities "four star restaurants", 10 stages below 'dolled up', and dines to my hearts content on martinis and sliders. Anyone care for a lesson in humility?

Needless to say, the whole 'gussy up and enjoy impossible-to-hear conversation in a packed house of Valentiners for overpriced heart-shaped meals' isn't exactly my thing. And when LT confessed that this was his first true Valentines day, I decided he definitely didn't need to succumb to that torture.

I threw out the idea of a non-schmoozy Valentine's celebration. Perhaps a night in, which evolved into cooking dinner together, which ultimately settled upon homemade pizzas and building a fort.

(When you don't have a rolling pin, you get resourceful)

Armed with an air mattress  every spare sheet and blanket in my house and a few strands of Christmas lights we set to work.

A little bit goofy? Maybe. But it was laid back, and chill. It was our kind of crazy. It was just us. One chicken ranch pizza, some Matthew McConaughey movies, the coziest fort and a box of girl scout cookies later... I was in Valentine'd bliss.

And yes, said fort is still engulfing my living room. I think Holly was right when she informed me it looked like a "forever fort"

 

An end in sight.

I haven't been doing very well with keeping my blog updated as far as Olivia goes, I blow up twitter and facebook with updates, but here... here I overlook. And for that I apologize.

I last wrote about her when she was gearing up to undergo her second surgery in this cancer fiasco.

The amazing part is, every bit of 'cancer' they found once she was opened up, was dead cancer. And for that, we celebrated.

Post-surgery recovery was a joke. She was running through the halls of the hospital yelling "YOU CAN'T CATCH ME" just a mere couple days post operation.

She's a firecracker I tell you. A firecracker who is about to celebrate her 3rd birthday in five days.

They have begun radiation along with the chemotherapy, and will continue that treatment plan until the end of April. With no major setbacks, there is an end in sight. Here's to hoping this rollercoaster is approaching the station for the last time.

Lingering Past

And at one point he looked at me and goes "you know what Chels, it's bullshit that you are letting them control your life still"

And I cried, out of anger. Big fat ugly cry.  He had no idea what I had been through, what they had done and said and how many ways they had broken my heart. But as the tears were falling I realized something. The key word is HAD. He was right. I was running from a future relationship because of what HAD happened. I really was letting these undeserving exes of mine control my future.

That fight was back in early moments of last summer, we were fresh into our relationship. LT and I had gotten into it over some silly thing I'm sure, probably about a friend of his who was a girl or something. We duked it out, then talked it out, then moved on. But to say I got over it quickly was a lie. It's hard. It's flat out HARD to trust after being cheated on in past relationships.

Sadly, I can distinguish when I'm being overly critical on him because of something someone had done to me in the past, but I haven't gotten to the stage where I just simply DON'T do it. That's the worst part, to realize I am punishing him for mistakes my ex's made, stuff that has nothing to do with him or how he treats me.

As we round the corner to that one year mark a lot of clarity is coming with it. I'm so so very fortunate to be dating someone who understands, and is helping me work through this. It's funny. I hit strong points where I write things like this post, shouting my appreciation for having been cheated on. And while it's true, being cheated on more than once has still left some deep, ugly wounds. Things you don't notice until you're stuck in some situation, at a fork in the road, where you start remembering the past and someone else's actions and panic.

Maybe this is a little random, or a little deeper than I've ventured on the blog lately, but it's straight from the heart. It's something I, we, battle every step of the way. And I have a sneaking suspicion that I am not the only one.

As much as it scares me to admit it though, I notice those walls I put up falling down a bit more and more every day. Do I know LT will never hurt me? Nah, no one KNOWS that for sure. Do I believe deep down in my heart he never would, yea. Yea I do. And that's a really good feeling.

Trophies, and what not

Saturday afternoon I got all dolled up and we ventured north to good ol' Michigan for the yearly banquet in LT's racing series.

I changed my mind a bazillion times last week on what I was going to wear, conveniently the dress I went with perfectly matched this years trophy. That's not awkward or anything!

They walked away with two trophies, after finishing the season 2nd in points.  I walked away with a smokin hot date. No?

Sunday was a little rough. Responsibility is partially blamed on the South African rum someone brought, the flooded hotel room compliments to the people above us, and the screaming children at 8am.

It was a great time though, it's funny how it's like one big family. We had a blast hanging out with everyone after the awards ceremony. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually am eager for racing season to start. Sure it means a lot less date nights and a lot more weekends spent at the track, but (and don't tell LT this) I actually enjoy it!

 

Bacongeddon 2.0

A year ago, us single soldiers banded together on the lonely Valentine holiday to warm our hearts in the best way possible, by eating bacon.

First tossed out as a joke, Bacongeddon was born. Oh the camaraderie.

Sometime down the line I picked up a boyfriend, therefore ruining my single status, and the bacongeddon ritual. Not to be deterred, we bumped our newly born tradition back a few weeks and on a snowy January night we bonded over bacon yet again. I even let the boyfriend tag along.

Our newfound holiday expanded from four Valentine loners to a house full of friends. The only requirement to get in the door - bring a bacon dish.

There was sriracha bacon, chocolate-covered bacon, candied bacon, bacon cheesy bread, bacon wrapped tots, bacon wrapped water chestnuts, bourbon bacon brownies (I bet you didn't guess I brought that one), bacon cupcakes, and probably more that I've forced out of my mind because I'm still suffering a bacon hangover.

I think someone totaled it up and there was over 18 pounds of bacon? Needless to say, we all left at the end of the night ridiculously cheery and cholesterol-clogged.
God bless America. And pigs.