01.02

You know what's fun... waking up New Year's Day with the flu.

And no, I don't mean the whiskey flu. I wish it would have been that. I would have felt a hell of a lot better today, then. Instead I'm still battling a 99somethin fever, a headache best equatable to an over-inflated balloon pending pop'age, and a quarantine sign on my office at work!

At least it waited to strike until after all the NYE festivities. I can't be TOO disappointed, I did have a blast ringing in 2015 with some of my most favorite people!

To continue on my quest of never having to step foot in a bar on New Year's Eve, we hit up a friends house (apartment?) party, decked to the 9s in our sparkles and smiles.  It's hard to be too bummer about being sick when I've only got a few more hours in the office before the weekend hits!

I hope this year brings everyone the happiest of happy days, 365 of them!

Thankful.

What am I thankful for?
The wanderlust that my grandparents and parents instilled in me, the job that affords me to do so, and the people who accompany me along the way. I've been sang happy birthday to by a Virgin Islander taxi driver, snorkeled the great barrier reef, rode horses along the beaches of the Dominican, snowboarded in Park City, cliff dove in Jamaica, swam with the dolphins in Mexico, snuggled a koala in Australia, shared bubble gum with an ape in Cancun, para-sailed a handful of the prettiest coastlines across the Caribbean, and met some of the most awesome people, hands down.

I can’t wait to see what adventures my passport and I stumble upon next!

 

Is it water on the knee? Operation!

Once October rolled around my mind went into Halloween mode. I am one of those weirdos who hates buying a costume (slutty nurse? no thanks.)

I could always resort to the pinata costume from last year again.

As I was talking with a friend one day he started joking that I should be the Operation board game, following the year I had. Uh, hello... GENIUS.

In the span of a single Saturday afternoon I hit up Walmart and Joanns, dyed some horribly ugly white faux Under Armour, and cut out all my "pieces", the next night I attached velcro to the red side, and adhered them to my new tan body suit using a mix of sewing and fabric glue.

I added a "popped balloon" piece to commemorate the good ol' lung collapse. Adorned my nose with a dab of red lipstick, added some 'tweezers' and I called it a success!

Apparently no one over the age of 25 remembers the board game Operation, and no child plays it any longer. So, basically no one got my costume. Womp womp.

(PSA: Fruit of the Loom's "WarmWear" is incredibly high rise and has a very awkward extra panel that could accommodate for an adult diaper maybe? I'm not real sure. Consider yourself warned.)

At least my niece loved it!

The time I was gifted two kegs.

Let's say a friend of a friend of yours is pretty well off. Really well off. Like, in a 'I run a country' well off.

And this friend comes in town over Labor Day weekend, so your friend orders a keg of his favorite beer to have in his hotel room while he is here.

Of course, he had already planned ahead and had his own means of libating (is that a word? It is now. Chelsea definition: drinking)

And so at 4pm on a Saturday afternoon you get this text:

(insert salsa dancing iPhone emoji here, because I probably did that little shuffle across my kitchen when I read the text)

Well... this was my life Labor Day weekend. I may have done the dance again when I go to pick it up and it's not one keg, but two kegs of Pacifico.

Conveniently, my mama's 21st birthday* is the last day of August. Birthing a child on Labor Day weekend? Genius. Who doesn't want 3day celebrations for the rest of their life?

We had a big cookout shebang at their place Saturday night. Of course, I pulled the best daughter EVER card and make her entire party incredibly well hydrated.

Killed one of two that night. Movin right along! Loaded up and took the other to a pool party the next day with a very firm "no one is leaving until this keg is floating". A full day of sun and beer lead to a lot of other shenanigans.

To say anyone made it past 10pm that night would be a flat.out.lie.

Dear friend of a friend, thank you very much for helping us to celebrate our labors, it was very much appreciated. 

*Yes, my mother turned 21. Again. She has turned 21 every year since her coughcough 50th birthday.
 

Our kind of crazy

Valentine's Day is weird to me.

I'm the kind of girl who shows up to the cities "four star restaurants", 10 stages below 'dolled up', and dines to my hearts content on martinis and sliders. Anyone care for a lesson in humility?

Needless to say, the whole 'gussy up and enjoy impossible-to-hear conversation in a packed house of Valentiners for overpriced heart-shaped meals' isn't exactly my thing. And when LT confessed that this was his first true Valentines day, I decided he definitely didn't need to succumb to that torture.

I threw out the idea of a non-schmoozy Valentine's celebration. Perhaps a night in, which evolved into cooking dinner together, which ultimately settled upon homemade pizzas and building a fort.

(When you don't have a rolling pin, you get resourceful)

Armed with an air mattress  every spare sheet and blanket in my house and a few strands of Christmas lights we set to work.

A little bit goofy? Maybe. But it was laid back, and chill. It was our kind of crazy. It was just us. One chicken ranch pizza, some Matthew McConaughey movies, the coziest fort and a box of girl scout cookies later... I was in Valentine'd bliss.

And yes, said fort is still engulfing my living room. I think Holly was right when she informed me it looked like a "forever fort"

 

Ringing in 2013

I figured if 2013 wanted to know who was boss, there was only one way to show it... by rocking the leather pants. (They're a heck of a lot less intimidating when you wear tall , albeit dirty, boots and a long sweater!)

And thus I spent the last few hours of 2012 donning my leather leggings for their first time out of the house.

Apparently, 2013 found this hilarious and slammed with a sinus infection on top of the myriad of other literal and metaphorical headaches I'm already dealing with, leaving me wondering if I'm even going to stand a chance against 2013 considering how it made it's entrance.

ANYWAYS - it's become a sort of tradition to ring in the new year at my cousins house, as he and his wife throw a party every year. It's usually the same mix of family and friends and I've come to love the laidback celebratory experience as opposed to huge crowds of crazy drunks at any given bar or hotel.

My cousin recently took the trophy in his fantasy football league, which apparnetly is in the 10th year running, and is some kind of big'freakin'deal. So, naturally, I highjacked it.

Somewhere south of 2am, after a night of dance battles, flippy'cupping, eating, drinking and having a great time it was time to retire 2012 for good.

Despite the rocky start, I'm determined to make 2013 an amazing year though! Bring it on!

A twitching hand.

Wishing you all the happiest of Halloween's from 50 Shades and his pinata girlfriend!

Halloween Greats

Growing up my mom always made us our Halloween costumes, which has caused me to despise those mega-huge costume stores and opt to create my own costume every year.

This year's is still in the works, but how bout a look back at some past greats?

There was the Double Dare team from 2009

The Mail Order Bride in 2010

And the Bell-ringer of 2011

Do you DIY or do you save your sanity and buy something already made??

Stars & Bars Cutoffs

I've been seeing various red, white & blue attire popping up lately, possibly because the 4th of July is rapidly approaching, or perhaps everyone just really loves Merica right now. I pick the latter of the two.

 I scored some pretty sweet shades that fall under that category. 

But the tip of the patriotic iceburg was when I saw Monica rocking a pair of shorts she had found at le Tarjay.

Being that I'm cheap and stubborn. I refused to go buy them, because I knew I could make em myself.

I present to you: my DIY stars & bars cutoffs.

Sunday after Family Breakfast I had my mom drag out a box of old jeans that she had saved over the years for craft projects.

I attempted to squeeze my notsotiny toosh into a bazillion and twelve different pairs, and finally landed on some real fashionable wideleg white capris. Meow.

And immediately took scissors to them. Out came the craft paint and I set to work.

 I got a little giddy when I saw the red stripes coming to fruition. Yea, that's how lame I am. At least I can admit it. Heck, once the other side had a coat of blue I was blowing up Instagram with pictures!

I patiently waited to add my stars, and now... I present to you... probably the coolest pair of shorts I have ever made (Sorry 6th grade home ec teacher, the plaid boxers we made come in a close 2nd)

Tonight I am working on a pair to send to miss Melissa Jo! Spreadin the Merican' love my friends - that's what it's all about.

 

First Annual Tacky Easter Bash

I'm sure the neighbors were more than a little curious when they watched us up on ladders meticulously hanging pieces of crepe paper and then "testing it out" for a good hour Friday night.

I can only imagine their thoughts when cars started filling up my front yard Saturday evening, the drivers exiting with the most ridiculous outfits (I was elated when almost EVERYONE dressed up!). My cousin, Justin, easily took the cake for the 'best dressed' of the night.

I ended up with 20 some odd people at my house Saturday night - way more than I expected, but it was a blast! A lot of beer ponging, jello shooting and bon firing went down. I couldn't have asked for better weather. Except it got a little chilly later in the night (hence why everyone ditched their festive getups for hoodies and jeans) (Please notice: everyone posing with an Easter basket full of jello shots HA!)

I took this last photo of the garage before crawling into bed that night... I think it's safe to say the first annual Tacky Easter Bash was a success. See yah next year, bunnies!