1.05.2012

Miss Chelsea's Rules of Dating

You know what's SUPER fun? Dating. (no really, I do think it's fun. I'm a serial dater of sorts.) But when did chivalry die? Can we go back to those days?! What a ridiculous mess of nonsense navigating singledom is. I have compiled my most thought-out rules of dating, I would appreciate it if they became the standards. ;)


#1 Don't try to make plans with me the night before. You all know the rule - ask by Wednesday for a weekend date. Just because I'm single doesn't mean I don't have a life. And even if I didn't, I still wouldn't accept because no one wants to look desperate

#2 Don't ask me the day of "so, what do you wanna do?" / "where you wanna eat" / some variation of the two. You invited me on a date. PLAN it. If you're unsure, narrow it down to 2 options and present them to me.

#3 I don't really want to hang out with your friends/ your grandma/ your entire marching band. I want to get to know you. Not meet 17 of your closest accomplices

#4 Offer to pick me up. I'll most likely turn it down, as I'm not really cool with potential psycho killers knowing my address, but if you don't offer it's minus 10pts mentally noted.

#5 You will know by my outfit how much I was looking forward to the date.  If I look like I half-assed it, then you should probably take it personally. Guess you should have upped the excitement level

#6 Please don't show up with flowers. Or a gift of any sort. That just makes it awkward for all parties involved. Unless it's my birthday, then there better at least be a card.

#7 Open my door. For godsakes, why are guys so rude nowadays.

#8 If I am meeting you somewhere, I will pull the fashionably late card. You better be there before me, no exceptions

#9 Unless you are saving baby pandas from a forest fire, pushing our date back by 45 minutes is not ok.

#10 Order your drink first. I like to follow suit. If you make me order first I'll go non-alcoholic, and then if you get a drink I will feel bad adding a $8 cocktail on top of a $4 iced tea. Nobody wants to be the Sober Sally!

#11 Don't you dare sit on your phone the whole time. It's rude. To anyone; not necessarily just a date. And even if you are engaging me, just stop. no I don't want to sit and watch all the 'SO FUNNY' youtube videos your friend sent you. Learn to carry on a conversation.

#12 Have a back-up plan. If the first portion of the date goes well, suggest somewhere else to continue it on. Don't do the awkward, sit there and say 'now what should we do??'

#13 You aren't going to get a kiss. No matter what. It's a first date and it will be treated as such. If I see potential you will get your reward after date 2 or 3 maybe.

#14 I appreciate a follow-up text within 20-30 minutes of us parting ways.It will say that you had fun, and you are glad I joined you. It's called pleasantries. Learn them.

#15 If I don't think there's any potential future, I'll tell you. I don't really like wasting my time... or playing games for that matter. I expect you to do the same.


So, I wanna know.... what dating rules would you add to the list??
 Do I expect too much? Should I go ahead and accept my future of 17 cats and a knitting basket.


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42 comments:

Kelly said...

This is one awesome post. Loved it! Guys who don't open doors are douches, plain and simple. Although I haven't done a lot of dating (been with my husband since we were 16 ;-)) I do wish I had more of this type of confidence to know what I wanted at my age when I dated around. Good for you, Chelsea!

whitney said...

if this is too much then i might be joining you and your cats.

i'll bring mine too.

Jennifer said...

So many people could benefit from this post! Great advice!

Mateya said...

You are too funny! And I totally agree with this. Except I've never had the car door opened for me. BUT considering, I've really only dated one man and he's not my husband and we were 15, I shouldn't be surprised.

I think bringing flowers is soooo awkward. Send them to your office later...

Jenn said...

I don't like movies as a first date...it seems so awkward to me to sit in a dark movie theater with someone you barely know. Dinner, drinks, something where you can talk...save the movie for a future date.

Michelle (michabella) said...

Agree with ALL OF THEM! You do NOT expect to much. Although... I don't really pay attention to the ask me on a date before then scenario... but I def don't like being asked the day of or some crap like that.

Also... I will stand there or stay in my car until the date gets the hint that he should be opening the door for me. HELLO?!?!

Men are stupid. Throw rocks at them.

Alana Christine said...

I LOVED this post. Mind if I do a rendition of my own, for my blog?
I don't think you ask too much, guys just need to step up!
I have considered making all guys give me their phone before the date starts--I hate it when they can't give me their undivided attention for a few hours. Your texts and missed calls will still be there later.

Emily said...

I can not agree with you more! I hate ordering first because I really would feel awful to order something expensive, and I sure as HECK am not going to go out with you within 24 or 48 hours of you asking me, make a plan and get on it early. By no means should you make sexual jokes on the first date and you definitely need to acknowledge that I look nice on our date. everyone loves a compliment and i didnt do all that work for nothing.

Kate said...

This is a great post and totally brought me back to my single days. Haha!! The only thing I disagree on (and SO many girls will hate me for it) but I just don't like when a guy open my car door for me. The door to a restaurant is a must! But my car door? Nope, I got that... don't need help.

Beat of Sandra's Heart said...

I do not predict that your future holds 17 cats! lol. I agree with 100% of your list. Trust me, there are still gentlemen in the world!

Carolyn said...

Oh my gosh. This is amazing. I love all of these, and they're completely true. So true. Guys could learn a lesson or two from this post. :)

Mallory said...

This post is sooooo true! Especially about the phone etiquette ones. There's nothing that will make me dislike you more!

And I have a friend who's mom raised him to have AWESOME manners (open the door for girls, pay for dinner even if you weren't on a date, let you pick the radio station in the car, etc) and he always has a million girls who want to go on dates with him! Boys should learn these things and girls would be so much happier:)

Mrs. Mama said...

haha this is great... i chuckled with each and every one. 15 rules, damn, boys better straighten up!

Erica said...

Love this list, you had me laughing. And yes, I'm pretty sure you'll be the cat lady. Totally kidding, you'll find a mister who is just right for you, because you obviously know what you want. Have ever told you I so would hook you up with my BIL if you were closer? I really think you'd be a good match. :)

Amanda said...

I saw the title of this post, and I just KNEW it was going to be good. And I agree with all of these, except I don't mind the flowers, and I'm too independent to have the door opened for me all the time. When M and I go on fancier dates though, he opens the door. I like that :) I think you should mass send this list to all male contenders...

Aly @ Analyze This said...

Holy shit ... 5 rules?!

I'd have to agree with the one about bringing gifts or flowers. Just don't. At all.

Amber @ A Little Pink in the Cornfields said...

Haaaaa! This is awesome and all so true. You're not expecting too much AT ALL. One of my pet peeves is guys that will ONLY text. Pick up the dang phone every once in awhile! I don't enjoy talking on the phone for hours either (hello, I'm not 13) but a quick phone call shows a little more effort than a text.

Great post!

KRISTIN said...

Probably your most amazing post to date...and I would like to add that most of these rules apply once you're married too!!! I WILL be passing this on to husband to remind him of the appropriate way to wine and dine me, which he will be expected to do the rest of his days.

Ana said...

PREACH.

I would add:
#16 Call me. Don't text me to ask me out, call me on the phone to make a date. Texts whilst courting should only be used for logistical communications a la "Parking", "Be there in 5", "Outside". Please note this does not preclude you from any of the aforementioned rules.

Megan said...

I couldn't agree with you more.

Ana said...

Oh yeah, and let's add:
#17 If you asked me on the date, you're paying. Don't think I'm reaching for my wallet. If you even hint at going Dutch, I'll pick up the whole thing because you'll need money for the next girl. Oh, and I'll make sure surrounding tables know you're a doucher, then tweet and blog post about it, too.

RockStar Paint, LLC said...

is it safe for a guy to comment on here? LOL

My one thing I would add (from the guys point of view) is that you can tell if shes a keeper when you do open the car door for her and she gets in, if she at least attempts to reach over to open your door or at least unlock it for you if you have electronic locks. That tells us guys quite a bit.

But other than that, guys def need to read this and do quite a bit of them. I thought I did pretty well, and still learned a few things that I should be doing more of.

Fly Me to the Moon said...

Sooo good! You totally nailed it!

Sarah @ Scissors and a Whisk said...

Lol! Definitely not too much. I, too, like texts afterwards, no kissing on first dates, and haaaaate when people are on their phones! I actually joked about that with Matt because we went to a restaurant and a young couple were on their phones- both of them!! Ridic.

Jax @ JaxandMarbles said...

Your #5 is SO TRUE!!! I went on a day date a long time ago (the guy was a total rebound) and wore a VS PINK HOODIE (never would I ever do that)...But lets face it. I only went out with him bc I was bored and I didnt really care about him or what I looked like. Oops.! :)

Michelle said...

very true - also a point to add for ladies - if the guy does open your door for you, reach over to the lock and unlock his door; it's manners. I always do and it's always appreciated.

tara said...

um. you are like a dating genius. seriously. these rules are dead on! i was awful at dating because i'm awkward.

Megan said...

I agree 100% on everything! Every guy needs to read this! Awesome post!

Monica's Notebook said...

Could these rules be any more perfect?! I have never really "dated" seeing as I'm a longterm relationship whore, but you are a genius! :] love this post.

Caroline said...

These are great rules!!!

Monica said...

Love this list except if i like a guy there is definitely a kiss :)

Melanie said...

Love this! I think one of the biggest things is being honest afterwards. How many times have we heard that was fun, let's go out again, only to never hear from the dbag? On that note....what DO you say to someone it just doesn't click with. I never know how to say it.

Dale said...

OMG I love this it's so honest and so true. I totally agree with you about the "no kiss on a first date" and the whole thing about how it's annoying when guys ask "what do you wanna do"...

You have a great blog, I also can't stand when guys text or check their phone at all in the movies and then pretend to check the time.

xoDale
http://www.savvyspice.net/

Aly said...

Couldn't have put it better myself! Men suck! Makes me want to swear off men in 2012!

Mrs.S said...

Lol, OMG this is hysterical..do you really apply all these to dating?!?Lol

Holly said...

OMG this is hilarious! I think if people really did this on dates, you'd have less awkward dates, which means less time wasted with losers, and more meaningful relationships. I love your honesty! I hope a few guys read this!

Ashley said...

Found your blog while I was blog surfing! Love, love, love it!

I think this post is AWESOME! Open the door, don't use the phone because I am sure you can live without it for at least an hour...I love everything about this post!

You go girl.
New Follower.
Ashley @Little Miss One Big Mess

Katie said...

Lol true true. Except open my door as I have had several awkward moments where we both go to open it at the same time.

Dree said...

I agree with every single thing you said here. If this is too much to expect then I'll join you and Whitney for a future of cats and knitting. I'll chip in for a fridge full of Diet Coke.

I'd add: don't bring me to a place where you know a bunch of people. That's just awkward. My boyfriend brought us to dinner at a {absolutely delicious} restaurant he used to work in, but because he knew everyone I felt like I was being watched. But still, that food was gooood.

Al said...

Oh sweetheart, I hope you really haven't been the victim of all of these dating faux pas, but my guess is if they're on your list, that might be the case...

See, THIS is why I'm not in the dating world. I would have given up and become that crazy cat lady at 27.

Kudos to you, my love, for actually navigating the field with morals and rules! Keep it up babe, and let me live vicariously. :)

*side note* It's so fun to hop over here after a year and a half and see how much this blog has grown! Keep it up, doll...

Marian said...

Love this post!! I think you hit on everything!! I'm trying to think of some advice...lets seeeee. No comments on our food orders...yeah, we we can eat a whole pizza, no need to let me know or anything, cut us some slack;) And vice versa if we get a salad, doesn't mean we are watching our figure, maybe we just need some veggies in our life

sarah said...

i may have to print this out and pass it around, fantastic!