Little Letters: Round 2

I think it's time for more little letters, don't you all agree? What... No? Too bad. 

Dear dad,
While I appreciate your surprise visit Tuesday night and the fact that you brought me a tupperware full of stew... I hate stew, and I'm pretty sure it was just an excuse to come steal your tools out of my garage. It's ok. I understand you miss me.

Dear House of Booze,
Since when do you have the authority to cancel Christmas? Ok, slight exaggeration but we don't even get ANY days off before or after xmas this year. The usual 'day off after xmas' is going to be taken on Presidents day. I seriously hate this industry. Grinch.

Dear state cop,
Are you just not going to ever turn in my ticket that you just HAD to give me that fateful September morning. I mean, I've got the prosecutor calling me threatening that my license is suspended (which it isn't, btw, I just checked) and saying I lied to her about the deferral and all this jazz. It's sort of a headache and I would just like to know if I get to catch that .01% error where you forget it and disappears or what?!

Dear crickets,
Seriously, get the flip out of my basement. I'm so tired of having to go on killing rampages everytime I want to do laundry. You guys are nasty... move it along Jiminey .

Dear annonymous fairy,
Thank you for paying my gas bill. I don't know who you are or how you did it, but somehow my $50+ bill for this past month showed that I owe nothing. I'm still skeptical.

Dear Greece,
Your men and islands may be gorgeous, but your yogurt is seriously disgusting. I bought 2 containers of it pretending to be healthy, and felt guilty throwing them away so I literally had to choke that stuff down as if I'm taking jello shots. Gag.  When did it occur to you that making a food item the exact consistency of the stuff you spackle ceilings with would be a good idea? It's not.

Dear perfect red jeans for Chelsea,
I know you are out there somewhere... please make yourself known.

Dear Reba,
Not really cool with you using my name in your new song. Little weird to be honest.

Dear over-eager neighbor,
You are across the street. If you want to carry on a conversation, come a little closer... I am not going to shout my personal business loud enough for the entire neighborhood. Heck I will even meet you in the street, sparky. Although you do make me laugh with every "HEY HOW ARE YAH OVER THERE?!" that I get.

Dear Paid Time Off,
Not that I'm counting... but I only have to put up with 25 more workdays until you are mine again and I cannot wait. I'm gonna use you the heck up and it's gonna be a DANG good time.

Dear tummy,
Please stop craving buffalo wings and fried rice at all hours of the day. People think I'm way weird when I mention it at 9:43AM... and I am really getting sick of having to promise everyone that no, there is in fact no fetus inside of me.



Beat of Sandra's Heart said...

Lol! Try some honey with the greek yogurt. I couldn't eat it plain either.

Mateya said...

How sweet, your daddy misses you :)

Have you tried Express or Delia's for the red jeans??

That sucks about your Christmas time off. At least it's on the weekend though.

undomestic chica said...

I agree about the Greek yogurt. Sick!

♥ Marcy ♥ said...

I literally have tears... HILARIOUS! I needed this funny post today!

Daniela said...

lol paid time off is fine by me ..

Carolyn said...

I am ready for my new year of PTO too! :) Love the letters!!

Emily said...

These are great! Love the letters! Even if I like Greek yogurt, lol.

Amanda said...

Oh how I love these posts! I mean how awesome are you? ;) And don't worry? I crave weird things that early in the morning too. And I'm not preggo, soooooo yeah. So have you booked your Jamaica trip yet?

Caitlin said...

Ok, I am SO glad that I'm not the only non-pregnant girl with pregnant like food cravings! And I love these letter posts, btw.

Anonymous said...

I CRACKED up at your sassy personality! I love it! I new I was going to be your newest follower after the first Dear dad.

So glad I stumbled across your blog!

sarah said...

I saw the best red skinny jeans and old navy!try them :)

Mrs. Mama said...

these crack me up! you should do this more often :)

Anonymous said...

Seriously laughing out loud at your letters!!

Michelle (michabella) said...

These letters make me realize why I love you. You are crazy.

I just heard that Reba song the other day...it IS kinda weird.

Greek yogurt isn't THAT bad, depends on the brand you got. Get the kind with fruit in it or honey and mix it with some granola.

Amber said...

Lol... at least your neighbors are friendly! We just had new ones move in upstairs. She and I pulled in at exactly the same time yesterday, and she would not get out of her car until I was by my front door. Plus they are super loud... weirdos :)
Hope you have a great weekend!

Daniela said...

I totally imagine you saying that with 3 snaps in Z form..ahahah
All set!!

Marian said...

Ugh, Grinches really get to me. Let me know if you want me to knock a bitch out or something;) I'm kidding. Kind of. However, our work is the same way...I just save up some vacation days so I can head North and spend some QT with Santa