9.29.2011

The hood

When I first bought my home I had visions of warm, welcoming neighbors showing up at my front door with casseroles or jello molds (not that I'm particularly fond of casseroles or jello molds, but it's the thought here, people!)

Well, that little daydream quickly proved itself wrong. I'd like to chuck it up to the fact that I moved in in the dead of winter... no one wants to trek outside in 2ft of snow to bring the welcome wagon. Or maybe it's because many of my neighbors are of the blue-haired variety, and their little electric scooters are in the shop getting repaired? 

First there was the escaped convict that was apparently roaming through our streets on Friday night, causing cops to put us on lockdown.  Thankfully I learned he was just a crazy divorcee, not some serial killer.

Then there was a little newspaper incident early on that had me seriously considering the area I moved into... but then a few months later once Scott became buddybuddy with the little klepto and I had no choice but to forgive her for what happened and move on. 

Then there was the time that I had a few friends over for a bonfire one night and my across-the-street neighbors tried to like 'outdo' us by turning their music up super loud and hootin & hollerin (note: they aren't young... they're like 40s with multiple kids). They are driveway sitters, and make me uncomfortable to be in my front yard. or driveway. or anywhere within plain view of them. Every evening they drag all their lawn chairs into the driveway and all 12 of them sit around chatting or something?

I have a cattycorner neighbor behind me with a with an old basset hound that looovvvesss to sit and whimper on the back porch. To which she replies in a sickeningly sweet tone "Olive... I am right here, you are fine Olive.... Aahhhhh-live you're fine sweetie, it's ok AaaahhhhhLIVE" 

And then there's the house behind me,  with the hyperactive jack russell, which prods the neverending 'Mya... myyyyyUH. MYUHHHH' as the mutt darts off through the neighbors yard. Every. single. day.

But I think my favorite neighbor has become the cattycorner across the street (dang maybe I need a diagram!) We will call him Mr. Excitable. Mr. Excitable is colored (newspaper thief pointed this out to me, and specifically said that she invited him to my housewarming party because -and I quote - "he is black and she did not want him to feel left out"), and has a wife and from what I can tell an awfully cute little mixed babygirl. I call him Mr. Excitable because anytime he see's me outside he frantically waves. I can't help but laugh, I'm not sure if he realizes it...but he always makes it a point to shout HI! and wave, and always seems so. dang. excited. Sometimes if I notice he's outside I will purposely go get something out of my garage so I can get that OH,OH,OH! HIIIII! wave from him



Neighbors are funny creatures. 
 Photobucket

17 comments:

Michelle (michabella) said...

crazy hood. i can't believe newspaper thief said that about mr excitable! LOL. omg.

Bevin said...

I'm so happy to be a new follower! And what a great post to welcome me to your blog :) Your neighborhood sounds very eclectic. hehe! Think of all the stories you will have to share for years and years to come...!

Caroline said...

Ha! I have so many of these same neighbors. I do have one who refuses to wear a shirt and it's not pretty. He's interesting.

K said...

You are not giving me hope of escaping crazy neighbors once I own a house! Haha. I've got some questionable ones too! None of them get excited to see me or wave excitedly when they see me. At least they are entertaining! Haha

Ashley said...

Good to know the escaped convict was just a 'crazy divorcee' and not a serial killer... serial killers are scary! ;) Your hood doesn't sound too bad... but the 'driveway sitter' neighbors would probably make me a little uncomfortable in my front yard too.

Mateya said...

Hey, at least you have neighbors...

Haley said...

At least you have some entertaining neighbors! We've had drug busts, crazy gunmen, multiple break-ins and psycho dogs at our house. Our town isn't that bad...really...and I don't live in a sketchy neighborhood...honestly.

The two neighbors across the street from us are both widowed "silver" haired grumps that sit in their houses all day, staring out the window at you while you shovel your drive way. I just smile and wave...smile and wave.

Oh and I forgot to mention that the neighbors to the right of us are "smokers" with the ones next to them-the "nosey-home on medical disability" neighbors.

Let's just say we're currently looking into a new house in a different town. :)

Amber said...

Hahaha....I love reading about your crazy neighbors. I have one neighbor down the street with a HUGE RV in the driveway. I love driving past that each morning!

Stephanie said...

hysterical! I laughed the whole way through this post...

EZsx5 said...

Too funny! I can relate! We have a stripper who sells drugs and a married prostitute addicted to crack. Always a cop ot two on my street-good times!

tara said...

neighbors are so weird. i was convinced for a while that some of ours wanted to steal our dog!

Adrian said...

Bwhahaha great post, Chelsea! I love the breakdown of your 'hood. I wish I owned my own place, so I could have weird neighbors. Living in an apartment means most of the neighbors are on a rotating lease agreement, and never stay long. Though I have made friends with the suave single dad across the way, or more precisely, his 10 year old boy, who helps carry in my groceries for cupcakes.

Nikki said...

This makes me laugh! I have a neighbor who we call our watchdog. He is a older man in his 80's and he texts us ALL THE TIME! If there is a package at my door he tells me. If there is someone walking past my house he tells me. If the dogs around the corner are barking he lets me know. He is to much!

Amanda said...

You had me laughing out loud with this post Chelsea! Yes, out loud. And it's my last day at this office. Oops!

Chelsea said...

hahah you are easily my favorite blog to read.

Lacey in the City said...

It's like Wisteria Lane!

Marian said...

Yeah...so um...I kind of wished I lived in your neighborhood:)