An update of sorts

So, yea. Deleted that last post. I think a lot of things got misconstrued... understandably. Sometimes it's easy for me to forget that ya'll don't know the whole story, or really any of the happenings of the past few weeks. For those who saw it - I meant it as a funny little lighthearted post that you would laugh at since I mention my affinity for watches at least every other week.

Blame it on all the RomCom's I've watched over the years, the countless hours of television break-ups and fights, or probably (and most likely) the chapters upon chapters of love stories in those light-hearted chick lits... but somewhere along the way I had an idea of how a guy proves to you he wants to fix something. How he makes you forget about his mistake, how he proves to you that all will be right in the world again.

It's really quite simple - I mean, he sets up post outside your bedroom window in the pouring rain with a boombox and the sappiest of love songs. Duh?! Don't all girls know that?? Shouldn't all guys know that? No? Probably not. Especially not when you're telling them to not talk to you or text you, probably not when you say that you just want space and time to absorb what happened.

Well after a particularly emotional argument with Scott a few weeks ago I spouted out the fact that actions speak louder than words and all he had done so far was talk.

A few days later I came home from work to find 3 flowers, each with their own apology note attached, on each step of my back porch. There's been flowers hidden between my storm door & main door, there's been balloons scribbled with Sharpie writings of all the things he misses, and there's been the watch that somehow found it's way inside my garage to be discovered when I came home that evening.

So yes - I did open it up to that avenue. I did essentially say please prove to me that you think about me, show me you're that same thoughtful guy I first fell for. 

If I said he wasn't trying I'd be flatout lying. It's not just the physical actions that I'm speaking of though. We've communicated more in the past couple weeks than in the entire time I knew him. He's completely opened up and started letting me in. He has talked with family and close friends about what he did, why he (thinks he) did it and how to make things right. Don't let me fool you though, none of this has been easy for him... just because I say that deep down I feel like our story isn't meant to end here I am not saying I will be quick to jump back in.

So while part of me wants to dish it all out here and prove to everyone what has been going on, I know half of what I say will (again, understandably) be read with a critical eye and I'm just not really in the mood for it honestly. Things are tough enough as is. I will say that we've been on a few "dates" though and I am hopeful and for the most part happy. That doesn't mean I'm not looking out for myself though.  I guess I'm just particularly on the defensive today but I promise I'm not just some stupid girl, give me a break.