9.20.2011

An update of sorts

So, yea. Deleted that last post. I think a lot of things got misconstrued... understandably. Sometimes it's easy for me to forget that ya'll don't know the whole story, or really any of the happenings of the past few weeks. For those who saw it - I meant it as a funny little lighthearted post that you would laugh at since I mention my affinity for watches at least every other week.

Blame it on all the RomCom's I've watched over the years, the countless hours of television break-ups and fights, or probably (and most likely) the chapters upon chapters of love stories in those light-hearted chick lits... but somewhere along the way I had an idea of how a guy proves to you he wants to fix something. How he makes you forget about his mistake, how he proves to you that all will be right in the world again.

It's really quite simple - I mean, he sets up post outside your bedroom window in the pouring rain with a boombox and the sappiest of love songs. Duh?! Don't all girls know that?? Shouldn't all guys know that? No? Probably not. Especially not when you're telling them to not talk to you or text you, probably not when you say that you just want space and time to absorb what happened.

Well after a particularly emotional argument with Scott a few weeks ago I spouted out the fact that actions speak louder than words and all he had done so far was talk.

A few days later I came home from work to find 3 flowers, each with their own apology note attached, on each step of my back porch. There's been flowers hidden between my storm door & main door, there's been balloons scribbled with Sharpie writings of all the things he misses, and there's been the watch that somehow found it's way inside my garage to be discovered when I came home that evening.

So yes - I did open it up to that avenue. I did essentially say please prove to me that you think about me, show me you're that same thoughtful guy I first fell for

If I said he wasn't trying I'd be flatout lying. It's not just the physical actions that I'm speaking of though. We've communicated more in the past couple weeks than in the entire time I knew him. He's completely opened up and started letting me in. He has talked with family and close friends about what he did, why he (thinks he) did it and how to make things right. Don't let me fool you though, none of this has been easy for him... just because I say that deep down I feel like our story isn't meant to end here I am not saying I will be quick to jump back in.

So while part of me wants to dish it all out here and prove to everyone what has been going on, I know half of what I say will (again, understandably) be read with a critical eye and I'm just not really in the mood for it honestly. Things are tough enough as is. I will say that we've been on a few "dates" though and I am hopeful and for the most part happy. That doesn't mean I'm not looking out for myself though.  I guess I'm just particularly on the defensive today but I promise I'm not just some stupid girl, give me a break. Photobucket

18 comments:

Unknown said...

I saw the post & thought it was cute and funny! At least he is working on himself. I think maybe because I'm in a similar situation I understand completely. It's like people are too judgey. Do what makes YOU happy!
XoXo

Alyssa said...

I didn't think of the post in a bad way at all. I would probably do the same thing as you- and who cares what anyone else thinks. Put yourself first and the rest will fall into place!

Anonymous said...

I saw the post...thought it was hilarous and don't see how someone could take it the wrong way! you were obviously joking around!!

K said...

I just found your blog this morning. And saw the post and thought it was funny. Then of course I had to find out the back story too. I see nothing wrong with your post. You are finding humor in a difficult situation, that's good. And if your story with Scott isn't over, then it isn't over. You will know when/if it is. No need to defend yourself. It is your life. Not anyone elses.

Mrs. Mama said...

I didn't see the post. But I feel like I should. I think we are "tight" enough, no?

But onto this post. Yes. Yes. Yes. I don't know him, true. I really only read the bad part, which was the cheating post , true. But I feel like I'm a pretty good judge of character, even if it's through what I read. And what I read on here? Perfect. Not just what he did or how he did it,,. But the way he listened and fought. The fight for something, someone, you love is huge. Even if you're the one that made the mistake. He chose to fight. And that to me speaks volumes. My heart tells me you are doing the right thing, who knows where it will lead you guys... But regardless, now, in the moment, you are doing what's right. And that my friend is all that matters.

Mkay enough of my two cents. Time for us girls to plan a get together,., we can totally involve booze and twitter as well. Maybe some pumpkin carving,,, hell maybe even apple picking. Buhahahaha

Amanda said...

Thanks for sharing! You're being so strong throughout this! I am very proud of you, and you know that we're going to support you no matter what happens in the end.

EZsx5 said...

I feel like I'm that little old lady that opens her apartment door and says, "kiss him already!" I'm so rooting for you two! (Like you care,but I am)! Just jump in with both feet! You've given yourself some time to process it all and nogirlm screaming to you - just do it! With all my infinite 32 year old wisdom, I feel like I'm right on! Haha! In all seriousness......good luck girl!

Michelle (michabella) said...

WOAH. Who was talking shit saying you are a stupid girl and ragging on you??? WTF. I will roundhouse kick someone.

That being said. I love this post. I honestly was about to email you asking how things were going bc you never talk to me anymore. What kind of partner is THAT?! (kidding). I decided to check your blog. I prob should be emailing this instead but whatever. I love this. I am BIG on actions speaking louder than words. I didn't see the previous post you had up. (i wanna see this watch, btw). I know you are a strong woman. I am glad to hear he is taking actions in trying to mend/fix things. That says something.

Love you sweet girl. <3

Aubrey S. said...

I saw the watch post and thought it was cute.

I just wanted to let you know that whatever you decide to do or not do about your relationship with Scott is your business.

I'm sure that anyone who has anything critical to say is being protective of you, but it's your life and your blog. And you have to make the decisions that are right for you.

Hang in there, girl. And don't be too hard on the guy. I'm sure he realizes what a catch you are.

Haley said...

First of all, if someone took that previous post the wrong way I have a feeling they don't read your blog often enough. I think anyone who reads it more than once knows you were being funny. On another note, I'd just like to say that I too went through something somewhat similar a few years back. And I can say with confidence that it will only make you stronger, not only you yourself but your relationship with each other. This coming from a girl who will marry her "boy who made a mistake" this coming January. Everything happens for a reason...follow your heart.

Chelsea @ two twenty one said...

Ok, so I wrote a comment and it disappeared. Anyway, I missed the deleted post, so I can't comment on that.

All I have to say is do what makes you happy. No one knows the entire situation but you. I will add that if you're willing to put it all out there, be prepared for people to say things that you don't necessarily want to hear. And some people are just going to be a-holes about it because they're a-holes. (Trust me, I know from experience.)

ty said...

GIRL. Do what makes you happy. You're not stupid or naive to think that the person you love made a horrible mistake and truly regrets it. That doesn't make you dumb. It makes you hopeful and it makes you HUMAN. This is coming from the girl whose most recent relationship spawned in the dust of a huge mistake (only I was the mistake maker). He was the one in your shoes being hopeful and wanting to see that I could show him that actions spoke louder than words, and four months later, it worked. No one thinks any less or worse of you for being optimistic, and if they do, to hell with em. Make YOU happy, and if you think he can show you what you need to see, let him.

xoxox

Caitlin said...

Someone really thought that you were some stupid girl? Whoa, really?! Some people just have to find something, anything, to pick at.
I read the deleted post and thought it was really cute and funny! Especially since we all know about your obsession with watches.
Personally, I think you should do whatever makes you happy. If it works, it works and if it doesn't then at least you gave it a chance. Better to have a life of oh-wells than a life of what-ifs, right?

Carolyn said...

I saw the post, and it made me smile. Don't let other people get you down! You do what makes YOU happy! :)

tara said...

i thought the post was cute! i was also a little jealous because i want a MK watch! you definitely do not need to explain yourself and your relationship! do what you want, girl!

Chelsea said...

aw i'm happy to hear you are happy! it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. my roommate and I are always tough on each other with our guys, but it's only bc we're looking out for one another! but ultimately you know him and know what's right for you :)

Melissa Jo said...

Don't let the negative drag you down girl, just keep you happy. That's all that matters! *hugs*

deertale said...

That's kind of funny people were getting flustered over that. Follow your heart, do what makes you happy, and always remember no ones perfect. I think its a really brave thing to give someone a second chance. Joey and I broke up twice in college cause he was in a jerk phase, and now we're happy as clams. You just never know. And im so jealous of your mk watch!Lucky girl!!!