9.02.2011

The one that no one saw coming

Sometime around 2 in the afternoon yesterday I  received a facebook message from a name I didn’t recognize. A Nicole.

It probably took me less than 30 seconds to read through what she had said, and at that point I just went completely numb.

I immediately texted my best friend a simple “OMG”. It was all I could muster up. I tabbed over to my gmail window and saw that Aly was online, sent her the same thing. Omg.

I reread the message atleast 4 times in Facebook before forwarding it on to both of them.





I was flooded with emotions instantly and just began shaking. Thankfully my supervisor was out of the office, I couldn’t even think straight or utter any real words.


Never, ever ever in a hundred years would I have guessed Scott would be one of THOSE guys. Never.


I was shocked. I mean really that’s the only way I know how to sum it up. I couldn’t help but text her, I wanted to know more. I needed to know more. 

However this wasn’t my first rodeo, sadly I’ve been contacted by the “other girl” a few other times too… I knew she was basically scum (isn’t any girl who knowingly hooks up with a guy who is in a relationship?), but at that point I had to play nice.


I ended up formulating a plan. I met up with her after I left work. I got a shirt from her that Scott had bought her while we were in Jamaica. Yea, you read that right. He bought her a souvenir while he was on vacation with his girlfriend and her family. He had me help him pick it out. He said it was for his sister.


Believe me, I spent most of the afternoon alternating between wanting to puke and wanting to scream. But I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of an easy out.


I showed up at his house claiming I wanted to hang out. I asked how he was feeling, if he was glad to be out of the hospital. All of that.

Then I casually brought up that I had ran into one of his friends at CVS when I stopped to pick up a drink. A girl I had never met but she recognized me. A girl named Nicole.

He showed no emotion just proclaimed “oh yea, she’s my friend. She knows about you”


Then I pulled out the shirt. “I’m sorry, I lied, it was for her –she always gets me souvenirs, so I got her one” he started stumbling. I let him carry on, still playing dumb. Asking why she would give it back? Was she JUST a friend? Anything else he wanted to say?


When he was fessing up I pulled out the Facebook message that I had printed off.


He let out a half laugh/half sigh, and picked up the paper I had just thrown in front of him. He read through it. His head hung in shame, knowing the truth was out. “Most of it’s true” he said, “I’m so sorry”.


“It’s just that she knows Chris’ (my ex) cousin and she kept telling me how you were going to end up cheating on me with chris and I didn’t trust you and I fell for what she was telling me, she won. She wanted me back, I believed her I was stupid. That’s why I broke it off in Jamaica, I thought maybe if I ended it I would stop feeling so guilty. I tried to end things with her this morning, I told her I wanted her out of my life, that’s probably why she messaged you.” His reasons kept pouring out. I wasn’t even listening. I was so numb to him. I told him that I never would have guessed he would be the type of guy to do something like this. I told him how all I ever did was rave about him, what a great guy he was. He hung his head and said, so quietly I barely heard, that he was that good guy, somewhere deep inside.


I got up to leave, asked for my house key back. I told him his stuff would be outside my back door if he wanted to pick it up, and if not Id put it out with the trash on Monday.

He chased after me as I walked out, and grabbed my car door as I was trying to shut it… begging that I just talk to him. I don’t know what he thought talking would do. He made his bed, now it was time for him to lie in it. There are a lot of compromises I will make in a relationship, and if I really really care about someone I will go waaaay out of my way for them. But cheating. Cheating is one thing I absolutely will not put up with.


I politely asked him to shut my door. And I backed out of his driveway, sliding my shades down to cover up that tear that was forming in the corner of my eye. I was so good and strong in his presence, that was what mattered. I wiped the tear away and turned up my radio and rolled the windows down. I don’t remember what was on the radio, but I rocked out to it. I held my head high and took what was left of my pride with me as I made that 25 minute drive back home.


He called three times, all ignored and texted 4. Telling me he was coming to get his stuff, that I didn’t have to say anything to him but he wanted to come get it.  When he arrived I handed him his things and went about my business – letting Russell out and flipping through my mail. He just sat there at my kitchen table, searching my eyes for some sort of remorse or forgiveness. “Nothing I say or do now would even matter would it?”.  “nope,” I replied “whats done is done. You led me on this whole time… making me feel guilty for remaining friends with an ex that never did me any wrong, telling me over and over how you treated me like a queen, making me-my friends-my family all believe you were some outstanding, amazing guy. You ruined my vacation, placing the blame on me. Telling me I was selfish, and you couldn’t picture a future with me… sorry, but I’m so far beyond hurt and betrayal right now that it’s true. Nothing you can say or do will matter.”



Finally, he got up and left, with one last sorrowful “I’m sorry”. 



I don’t really know what to say or how I feel. I’m thankful I found out, relieved to have answers, absolutely disgusted, hurt, betrayed, and still just in shock. I’m not sure if my retelling of this even makes sense, but I needed to get it out for my own sake. I keep replaying the past few months in my head, recounting her story and his story and my own views. Rethinking everything. Wondering if any of it was truth. The only truth I know right now though is that I hurt. I have to try to start healing now.
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42 comments:

Chelsea said...

OH MY GOODNESS. pretty girl. I am so sorry. You deserve so much better. You are beautiful and witty. My jaw is seriously dropped at the computer right now. Your blogger friends are here for you! Hugs**

Aly said...

Oh girl I am so sorry. He had no right to do that to you. I can't believe it- I can only imagine how you feel. Email me if you want to talk.

David and Elizabeth said...

Omg. Are you kidding me?!? Unbelievable! I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Good for you for not giving into his pathetic reasons. You are way too good for him.

Fly Me to the Moon said...

You are such a strong awesome girl. Any guy would be crazy lucky to have you. Someday you'll meet the man of your dreams and this will all make perfect sense. (You can pretend i'm telling you this over a nice afternoon coffee!) Sending happy thoughts your way girly!

Jennifer said...

I am so very sorry that he put you through all that crap. You deserve to be treated like a Queen in front of and behind your back and you deserve way better then him.
I hope you know that he is just a stepping stone and in the long run will be nothing but a memory of how far you've come.
I know it's hard to be upbeat and positive in this type of situation (I've been in one similar) but time does heal all wounds and next thing you know, you'll hardly ever think about him or this experience.
I hope you have a wonderful weekend and keep your head up.

I know I hardly ever comment but I read your blog and follow you on twitter. I'm here for you if you ever need me

Kelly said...

Wow. You are SO STRONG and it sounds like you have a really straight head on your shoulders-- no time for losers :-) To think you would have had NO idea if she had not sent you a message on Facebook. Wow. Hope that you're well on your way to healing :-)

Tori said...

Whhhhhhhhhat?! That sucks. Thank god it's Mix & Mingle Friday?!

Chelsea @ {twotwentyone} said...

What an ass. So sorry that he did that to you. You deserve so much better than a liar like him. Stay strong. Sending plenty of healing vibes your way. P.S. Let me know if you want me to put a bag of flaming dog poo on his doorstep. :)

Kirsten said...

You are an amazing and strong woman. He doesn't deserve you - and way to go for standing your ground with him yesterday. that couldn't have been easy. take care of yourself lady.

Mrs. Mama said...

Oh wow. I am so sorry girl. That hurt just reading that. What a jerk-off. Honestly, you are so strong and much better than that. He never deserved you. A man like that, will NEVER change. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Good for you for putting him in his place. And the other girl? Thinking she was all high and mighty and being a good person for sending you that message... scum herself.

Allison said...

WHAT!? Seriously he's a jerk! I'm so sorry, yet so PROUD of you! I'm sorry that you're feeling hurt and going through such a crappy time, but I hope you're able to have some fun this long weekend!

Michelle (michabella) said...

Ugh. I am still just so disgusted by this. I know you are hurting. You and I are so much alike. Stay strong pretty girl. He never deserved an amazing girl like you. xoxoxox

ps- I love Chelsea @ twotwentyone's comment! I am all for putting a bag of flaming poo on his doorstep!

undomestic chica said...

I'm so sorry. You do not deserve a guy like him at all. Good for you being so strong & not playing into his antics. You deserve SO MUCH more than being cheated on.

Krystal said...

Thanks for sharing this with us, I am sorry you had to go through this. I think it's time for a margarita, what do you think? :-) Just tell yourself... on to the next one! =D

Amanda said...

OH MY GOSH! I am so, so sorry that he put you through all of this! It's an awful, awful thing. All I have to say is karma's a b!tch, and I love that you have taken the high road throughout all of this. I'm very proud of you! You are a strong, gorgeous, smart, funny and caring person! I'm here if you need someone to vent to! Thinking of you :)

Mrs. H said...

I'm in total shock right now reading this. I am so so so sorry that you have to deal with this. Nothing is worse than finding out someone is cheating. Hope your heart heals fast!

Carolyn said...

UGH! He is so not worth your time! I'm so sorry hon! Keep your head up!!! Love you!

Leanne said...

I am so sorry this happened to you. You are such a good person and he does not deserve you. Keep being strong, you will get through this.

tara said...

Ew. He is disgusting and you deserve WAY better! Stay strong and dont fall for his BS if he tries to beg you to come back! Big internet hugs to you! xo

Jax @ JaxandMarbles said...

Good for you for not letting him see you shed yet another tear!
And how does he have the right to call you "selfish" on vacation. He broke up with you on YOUR family vacation...that pretty much makes him the most selfish of all by ruining a vacation that YOU unselfishly invited him on!
GRRRR...so angry at him and this little "nicole" character!! Glad you are stong & working to heal!! Keep your head up lady!
xoxo!
Jacqueline

Sole Matters said...

I am in shock, especially after you left work to spend time with him in the hospital!! And he ruined your vacation? AND he cheated? Karma is a bitch. Good for you for being so strong!!!! *hugs*

Kristen said...

Boo! You deserve better! You handled this SO well.

Someone better will come along soon!

Adrian said...

I'm so sorry Chelsea! This is one of the worst things a guy can do. You never deserved this kind of treatment, and he was a jerk to think it was proper behavior on his end. You were incredibly strong and did the absolute right thing in ending it and not giving in to his groveling. Stay true to yourself! If you ever end up in northern California, I've got a handful of good guys you can go through, and I know they wouldn't two time you in any way.

Courtney B said...

No.freakin.way. Oh Chelsea I am just SO sorry! What a JERK! I am so proud of you and the decision you made to end things right then. Someday you can forgive him, but he definitely doesn't deserve to be with you. Or a second chance. What an idiot. You are so amazing though and all of your bloggy friends love you!!

Heather said...

Oh my gosh. I am absolutely disgusted for you. Especially after you sat next to him in the hospital! I am very glad that you're being strong & holding your ground. No good can come from forgiving him.

megan jean said...

Unbelievable...but unfortunately as I am sure you are like me (and any other girl) you give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I've been in those shoes plenty of times as well. Kudos to you for standing your ground though, you deserve better!

Aubrey S. said...

Oh, Chelsea. I'm so sorry. Sounds like some ice cream is in order tonight.

Mrs. S said...

oh pretty girl, I am so sorry for what you are going through. He sounds like a real piece of work!
I'm glad you found out and handled it so strongly!! GO GIRL!

Megan said...

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. I admire your strength though. I hope your weekend gets better :)

Al said...

To say that this post both shocked me and didn't surprise me at all is an understatement. Shocked me because it's you - one of the most beautiful souls out there. How someone can do this to you angers and upsets me, and my heart breaks for you. At the same time, this past year taught me never to be surprised when you thought "the one" that would NEVER do something that horrible, in fact, DOES. I'd send you a formal invitation to the club, but I don't have your address. What I do have though, is knowledge and experience enough to tell you that the hurt passes. It does. And unfortunately it is gonna hurt, and ache, and burn for a long time. But each day is better than the last, and you will be ok. No man (or in this case RAGING ASSHOLE) can take that away from you. Scott had us all convinced he was the good guy. You've done no wrong, and do deserve better.

In short - I am so sorry you must go through this and feel so low - I know exactly how you feel right now, and envy the fact that at least you have answers that soften the blow just slightly, so take comfort in that. You are a strong, wonderful woman and you have a million of us out here that love you and care. Email me if you want, or just know that I am thinking of you and my heart is with you right now.
xoxo

Ashleigh said...

im a new follower-- girl, this story is crazy!!!! im so sorry that happened to you! way to be strong!

Alexson said...

Sounds like you handled it amazingly. You deserve so much better! Onward and upward, gal. You got this.

caley-jade rosenberg said...

I am so sorry girl - you are so special and do not deserve to be treated this way. Just remember...

"Your heart may be broken. If you give your heart to God it will mend right. If you don't it will have scars. It will be hardened and bitter. You will not be able to easily love again. So trust your heart to God.

He will hold those broken pieces in His hands. As they mend you will have a soft heart. You will be able to love again with increased love."

Thoughts and prayers are with you x

Sarah @ Scissors and a Whisk said...

Ack! I've been so busy at work I haven't had a chance to read my favorite blogs.

I am so sorry this is happening, girl. You are so strong, but I know you hurt as well. I'm truly proud of you for how you handled yourself in front of him. I wish we lived closer so I could give you a hug and a candy bar!

You know your readers and followers are here for you.

Jen said...

OMG!!! I am sitting here in complete shock. You are such a strong and wonderful person! You deserve so much better than him and you will get it. :)

Whitney said...

Wow.. So sorry girl. It is his loss, not yours.

danielle said...

What. A. Jerk. I honestly hate men that don't have the balls enough to be honest. I am so very sorry that you had to be put through this dear. I know you may not know me, and I don't comment on your blog very often but my heart definitely goes out to you. You seem so strong and I know that you are going to make it through this... and like someone above said.. find someone who will treat you like a queen in front of and behind your back!

Erica said...

Ugh that one sucks. Time for drinks yet? I'll bring over the virgin mix (you know... for me) and a bone for Russel so he'll be entertained. :)

Holly said...

I'm so sorry, doll face! I can only imagine how hurt you are, but if you need anything, just email me! xoxo

PCM said...

I am so sorry you are going through this, Chelsea! Stay strong & remember that karma really is a bitch! Plus, it's almost Friday! :)

Jax said...

Oh.my.gosh. I am so very sorry. So very sorry. I applaud you for taking action like this, especially when it was undoubtedly so hard to do. I'm so glad you stood up for yourself and what you deserve, girl. B/c you deserve so much better than this. I'm so sorry you're hurting and you're going through this. I'm glad that girl reached out to you b/c who knows when you would have found out. What a jerk! :(

Jax said...

Oh.my.gosh. I am so very sorry. So very sorry. I applaud you for taking action like this, especially when it was undoubtedly so hard to do. I'm so glad you stood up for yourself and what you deserve, girl. B/c you deserve so much better than this. I'm so sorry you're hurting and you're going through this. I'm glad that girl reached out to you b/c who knows when you would have found out. What a jerk! :(