Through chaos comes clarity

There was this point a few months ago where I was on a dating rampage.

Literally, being taken on dates 5 nights some weeks. (Wednesdays were girls nights, and Monday was family dinner... every other night was fair game, and usually booked)

At the culmination of my whirlwind social life, my friends and even my own mother were asking for a picture flip book to keep track of who was who, how I knew them, where we met, socioeconomic status, family lineage, so forth and so on.

They all thought it was hilarious. They would even throw a new one in occasionally just to see if I could continue to juggle it.

It was all in good fun, I wasn't taking myself too seriously. They all knew I wasn't in it to win it. I wasn't hooking up with them, any of them. I didn't even kiss most of them. Some were around for a few weeks, some just a date or two.

I don't even know where they all came from. I wasn't actively seeking dates. I'm not complaining though. I can't tell you how much money I saved on food for those few months ;) (Hey, just being practical)

In all honesty, it was a good time. I really did enjoy hanging out with them, otherwise I wouldn't have agreed to any dates. I'm not good at faking being interested. But it was exhausting. I longed for pizza-on-the-couch-in-my-high-school-tshirt-nights, not to be getting dolled up and having to act like I gave two shits about where we went to dinner or how their day was. And confusing! I couldn't remember who told me which stories, which jokes, which nicknames. I started telling stories about my dates to other dates but changing it to sound like stories "with friends" not "while on a date".

After a month or two, I forced myself into early retirement. I started ignoring texts, not returning calls, accidentally "missing" their tweets at me.

There was this one fella who had sorta been on the backburner the whole time though. Not around much, but enough to stay on my mind. We would text almost daily, but had only hung out a few times. He was the one who held my interest. I kept finding myself intrigued by him. I craved his presence but our busy schedules just never wanted to compromise. Somehow through the chaos of the spring though, I realized what I wanted... and somehow that boy kept popping up at all the right times...