8.31.2011

The whirlwind that is my life


Sitting in a not-so-comfy hospital chair, listening to the sounds of an machine pumping Potassium Chloride into Scotts’ veins through an IV in his arm, watching him wince in pain as he tries to find a comfortable position in the sterilized bed, I can’ t help but think that I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.

And some might think he should be my worst enemy right now.
If we’re friends on Twitter you probably know what I’m about to say …

We broke up. Well, technically he broke up with me. While we were on vacation. Yep, Thursday night it all came out. He wasn’t happy, he wasn’t sure if we were right for each other, he had apprehensions about things, about me.  Friday was a complete struggle as I tried to absorb what had just happened and make sense of it, but Saturday (the day we spent nearly 16 hours in transit on our way home) was surprisingly easy. I’m not sure if it was my extreme desire to be anything BUT that girl who broke down in the airport, or if it was just my natural instincts kicking in.

You see, early on in the day while on the bus heading to the airport from our resort in Negril, Scott (commonly referred to on the blog as HJ) started complaining of back pain. I commented that he probably just tweaked it when we hit a bump or something, and offered him advil. He didn’t say much else until we boarded our plane out of Montego Bay. Let me back up to say in the time I’ve known him, I’ve never seen him take pain medicine nor complain about being in pain.  The fact that he readily accepted a couple Advil sparked concern.

Once we touched down in Orlando I knew it was going to be a long 5 hour layover. Before we even made it through Customs he was complaining of back spasms, and you could visibly watch the goosebumps come and go after each one hit. We stopped for a bite to eat and he complained of nausea.  While sitting at our gate he was constantly shifting in his seat, trying to find some sort of relief from what he described as “sharp, shooting pains”

He (as most guys do) refused to go to the hospital on Sunday, saying he was just going to tough it out. Still thinking it was just some freak back injury.  But the real surprise came Monday morning when I woke up to a text saying he had gone to the ER at 2am because the pain was so excruciating it was a struggle to even stand up, and that they were running tests and surgery may be on the horizon depending on the results.

Maybe I wasn’t “supposed” to care, considering he had broken things off, but I couldn’t help it. As if everything that was unfolding around him wasn’t bad enough, there was one text message from him that just reconfirmed my previous thoughts that I NEEDED to be there for him. It simply read “ironic that 3 years ago today my father was leaving the hospital to take his walk to heaven while i get admitted on the same day"

I left work shortly after lunch that day and went to keep him company. He kept apologizing for it being boring, and there being nothing to do but I knew I wasn’t going to let him be alone on that day, going through all that. His sister lived nearly 2 hours away, and his mom was over 3 hours. It was the waiting game all afternoon. The doctors confirmed that he had pancreatitis, an infection of the pancreas, and it would either  be combated with surgery to remove gall stones or the gallbladder, or he just had to let it run its course.

It’s been nothing short of hard watching him go through all this pain knowing there’s nothing I can do to help but be there for support and a distraction from the monotony of the hospital.   Today marks his third day there, and there is still no real plan of action.  Yesterday things were looking up but last night brought back pain of the same intensity that forced him to the ER to being with.  More tests are being done as I type this, with mentions of kidneys and gallbladders and nothing that sounds upbeat. 

I’ve snuck him in gummy bears and milkshakes, word search games and pirate boxers all as desperate attempts to put a smile on his face.  I can tell it’s working and can sense his appreciation when I’m there, and receive numerous texts expressing his gratitude after I leave. I’m not trying to play nurse in hopes of him “taking me back”, I’m just doing what seems natural to me. I can’t stand to see someone going through all that, especially someone I care a lot about.


So… now you know what I’ve been up to! It’s been a whirlwind past few days around here, emotionally and physically, to say the least
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26 comments:

David and Elizabeth said...

i'm so sorry he (and you) are having to go through this! being stuck in a hospital isn't the greatest thing either (I work in the ER and nothing is worse for patients than playing the waiting game!) hope this passes by quickly for you!

Amber said...

What an awful thing to have to go through. Hoping the docs figure it out pretty soon! And (although I KNOW this isn't why you're doing any of it and it's definitely not why you wrote this post) kudos to you for being such a big person and being an amazing friend to HJ through all of this!

Mateya said...

I already said this but this truly shows how great of a person you are. He's really lucky to have you there keeping him company. I hope they figure something out for him soon!

Michelle (michabella) said...

FRIEND! :( I am so so so so sorry. I was actually about to email you today wondering where you had been b/c I just had this intuition that something wasn't right. And then I see this post. First, I am so sorry y'all broke up...and on vacation. Second, you can shred that card I gave you. Dangit. FAIL. Third, I don't think it matters that you two are broken up that you are there with him at the hospital. I am sure it means more than anything that he has someone there with him. You are a great person for doing that. I hope the pain eases for him and things heal quickly. Love you Pippa! You can text, fb, tweet, etc me anytime ;) <3

Marian said...

Seriously you are the best! It takes a hell of a person to go through all that!! Hoping for a speedy solution and recovery for both of you!

KellyMellyBoBellyBananaFanna said...

big hug. you're doing the right thing. but you know that.

[Ashley] said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
[Ashley] said...

I'm new to your blog, but thought I would chime in anyway...it seems like you're a great person, especially considering the cirumstances. They say everything happens for a reason, right? Maybe this will open his eyes to a different side of you, or open your eyes to something totally different. Hope he gets to feeling better soon!

Nikki said...

I am SOOOOO sorry to hear everything that you and Scott are going through. Stay strong!

Meg {henninglove} said...

that sounds terrible what he is going through hope they can figure out a course of action soon! and you are doing a terrific job i think it is human nature to care for someone when they are sick, regardless of what happened even the day before, it shows your true heart as a person

Al said...

Oh my darling...I have been a horrible blogger as of late and am catching up on my reading - SO sorry to read this :( (though exceptionally written...) First of all, I am so sorry to hear about the break-up; I think you know that I can empathize with you on that one. However, though this is not news to me having been a fan of your for quite some time - you are one incredible woman. Someone who is a real friend through and through. I admire you for doing what comes naturally to you, despite the situation you faced last week. I am thinking of you and I hope that he gets well and you find a peace with the situation - no matter what happens.

Believe me when I say I know a little about natural instincts taking over...I am thinking of you, darlin...

tara said...

Eek. That really sucks! I'm sorry he's going through all this! You are such a sweetheart for being there for him. I bet he'll want you in his future after all you've been doing for him!

Aly said...

You did the right thing girl! I would have too, don't let others beat you up over it. Sorry to hear about the breakup- I can't believe it happened on vacation. Here if you need anything!

MJ @ Teaching in Heels said...

You're definitely doing the right thing! Hope that he starts feeling better and they figure out how to help him...

Domesticated-Bliss said...

Sorry to hear about the breakup it seems kind of out of left field, but it just shows what a good person you are to come to his aid even when it's probably the most difficult to you.

Mrs. H said...

I'm so sorry to hear about the break up. I hope that he gets better and that you your heart heels from the breakup. I know they are never easy.

Fly Me to the Moon said...

You are a great person chels. I've been in the hospital all week too, joey wrecked his motorcycle surgery the works all that fun stuff, so i hear ya. You are an amazing strong person, and i think what your doing shows a lot about your character and the kind of person you are. Go you!

Carolyn said...

You are amazing for staying by his side! :)

Jen said...

You are such a wonderful person and he is lucky to have you by his side. I hope he wakes up and realizes it.

Amanda said...

Chelsea, you are a wonderful, wonderful human being! I want to give you a huge hug for being so supportive and caring so much! It makes my heart happy to know that you have taken the high road and are being so supportive in his time of need. I hope you are proud of yourself and that you are a genuinely good person!

Amanda said...

Chelsea, you are a wonderful, wonderful human being! I want to give you a huge hug for being so supportive and caring so much! It makes my heart happy to know that you have taken the high road and are being so supportive in his time of need. I hope you are proud of yourself and that you are a genuinely good person!

Caitlin said...

Man, I feel like I've been out of the twitter loop...definitely didn't know that y'all had split. But, I think it really shows what a kind person you are that you would take the time to be there for him during this time. I can imagine that it can't be easy this soon after a break up. Hope that he gets better soon!

Chelsea @ {twotwentyone} said...

I'm a new follower. I came across your blog and saw that we share the same name. Then I saw that you live in Indy, and so do I! You're doing a pretty awesome, selfless thing here-- especially considering the circumstance.

whitney tomlin said...

oh no :( praying for him (and you) stay strong!

Tori said...

Quite frankly, I expect you to act like this. Regardless of whether you and Scott are together, you're an amazing and loyal person and a great friend. {kinda awkward since I don't know you... but I totally know you.}

caley-jade rosenberg said...

You are a very special person Chelsea, and Scott is so blessed to have had (and especially have you now) in his life. There is nothing wrong with being by his side during this difficult time - it is who you are!!

I'm sorry it has been so emotionally draining for you - my thoughts and prayers are with you and i hope life will be all smiles for you soon!
x