The whirlwind that is my life

Sitting in a not-so-comfy hospital chair, listening to the sounds of an machine pumping Potassium Chloride into Scotts’ veins through an IV in his arm, watching him wince in pain as he tries to find a comfortable position in the sterilized bed, I can’ t help but think that I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.

And some might think he should be my worst enemy right now.
If we’re friends on Twitter you probably know what I’m about to say …

We broke up. Well, technically he broke up with me. While we were on vacation. Yep, Thursday night it all came out. He wasn’t happy, he wasn’t sure if we were right for each other, he had apprehensions about things, about me.  Friday was a complete struggle as I tried to absorb what had just happened and make sense of it, but Saturday (the day we spent nearly 16 hours in transit on our way home) was surprisingly easy. I’m not sure if it was my extreme desire to be anything BUT that girl who broke down in the airport, or if it was just my natural instincts kicking in.

You see, early on in the day while on the bus heading to the airport from our resort in Negril, Scott (commonly referred to on the blog as HJ) started complaining of back pain. I commented that he probably just tweaked it when we hit a bump or something, and offered him advil. He didn’t say much else until we boarded our plane out of Montego Bay. Let me back up to say in the time I’ve known him, I’ve never seen him take pain medicine nor complain about being in pain.  The fact that he readily accepted a couple Advil sparked concern.

Once we touched down in Orlando I knew it was going to be a long 5 hour layover. Before we even made it through Customs he was complaining of back spasms, and you could visibly watch the goosebumps come and go after each one hit. We stopped for a bite to eat and he complained of nausea.  While sitting at our gate he was constantly shifting in his seat, trying to find some sort of relief from what he described as “sharp, shooting pains”

He (as most guys do) refused to go to the hospital on Sunday, saying he was just going to tough it out. Still thinking it was just some freak back injury.  But the real surprise came Monday morning when I woke up to a text saying he had gone to the ER at 2am because the pain was so excruciating it was a struggle to even stand up, and that they were running tests and surgery may be on the horizon depending on the results.

Maybe I wasn’t “supposed” to care, considering he had broken things off, but I couldn’t help it. As if everything that was unfolding around him wasn’t bad enough, there was one text message from him that just reconfirmed my previous thoughts that I NEEDED to be there for him. It simply read “ironic that 3 years ago today my father was leaving the hospital to take his walk to heaven while i get admitted on the same day"

I left work shortly after lunch that day and went to keep him company. He kept apologizing for it being boring, and there being nothing to do but I knew I wasn’t going to let him be alone on that day, going through all that. His sister lived nearly 2 hours away, and his mom was over 3 hours. It was the waiting game all afternoon. The doctors confirmed that he had pancreatitis, an infection of the pancreas, and it would either  be combated with surgery to remove gall stones or the gallbladder, or he just had to let it run its course.

It’s been nothing short of hard watching him go through all this pain knowing there’s nothing I can do to help but be there for support and a distraction from the monotony of the hospital.   Today marks his third day there, and there is still no real plan of action.  Yesterday things were looking up but last night brought back pain of the same intensity that forced him to the ER to being with.  More tests are being done as I type this, with mentions of kidneys and gallbladders and nothing that sounds upbeat. 

I’ve snuck him in gummy bears and milkshakes, word search games and pirate boxers all as desperate attempts to put a smile on his face.  I can tell it’s working and can sense his appreciation when I’m there, and receive numerous texts expressing his gratitude after I leave. I’m not trying to play nurse in hopes of him “taking me back”, I’m just doing what seems natural to me. I can’t stand to see someone going through all that, especially someone I care a lot about.

So… now you know what I’ve been up to! It’s been a whirlwind past few days around here, emotionally and physically, to say the least