Little Letters: Round 3

I think it's about time for some little letters, no?

Dear green monster,
You are pretty much the equivalent of crack to my body. I crave you ever morning, and feel 900x better throughout the rest of the day compliments of you.  Thank you for weaseling your way into my life.

Dear church,
I know you probably wouldn't approve of the fact that I photoshopped communion glasses to look like jello shots. I needed to though. Please don't condemn me to hell

Dear cancer,
You're pretty much getting your ass kicked right now. Funny how you thought you could just show up and rock my not-even-2-year-old niece's world. She's got other plans. So pack up your shit, and get out. We already took the time to evict your tumor, so move along!

Dear Saint Valentine,
That day, the one dedicated completely to you, is about to rock my world. It may, quite possibly, be the best Valentine's Day EVER if all goes as planned. Want a hint as to my plans: Bacon'geddon.

Dear zumba,
I am bound and determined to conquer you. However, until that day comes where I can samba without looking like a 3 year old doing the potty dance... I will contain my zumba lessons to the private confines of my own home. 

Dear neighbors,
If any of you ever happen to glance in my window, I apologize. You guys have got to think I'm effin weird. I am constantly running around half-clothed, flashing the world because I forget to close my blinds. I am always dancing my way around the house (and I'm not talking waltzing, I'm talkin pop-lock-n-droppin it as I clean up the living room).  I run around chasing my dog like a madman.  I have a million and 12 half finished projects. I leave my garage door open half the time, and my keys hanging in the door the other half. Yea.... sorry. I'll try to reel it in a notch

Dear Indy,
We absolutely rocked it for Super Bowl. I cannot count how many out-of-towners raved about the people to me. LOVED it. So awesome. I just wanted to embrace the entire city full of people in a group hug Sunday night and never let them all go home.

Dear winter,
I liked you better when you were just half-assing it. Can we go back to that?

Dear Punta Cana,
You're, what, like a month away? I'm so ready to be in you. (heh, cue 12 year old boy giggles)

Dear corporate America,
Don't make the wrong choice. I'm just going to leave it at that for now.



Amanda said...

Loving your little letters. I've never tried Zumba, and I think I would be in the same boat as you if I did...so I won't try Zumba lol. And what is Bacon'geddon. I need in on this. I heart bacon.

whitney said...

yeah. this is better than my suggestions.

my favorite being punta cana.


Kristen at First Name Smith said...

You are so cute! these are great.

Jennifer said...

I think I mess up the green monster when I try to make it :( It doesn't come out green first off.

KRISTIN said...

Great letters! Glad to hear your niece is kicking booty! :)

Carolyn said...

It makes me so happy to hear that your niece is kicking cancer's ass!!! :) As for the zumba... I wanna try it, but I'm terrified I will be HORRIBLE at it. HAHA

My neighbors probably think I'm crazy too. I think that's why we're so cool. Just saying. :)

Monica said...

Love it! I love love Zumba and even though I like to think I am a pretty good dancer I still think I look ridiculous half the time

Kelly said...

Zumba potty dance!!! Hahahaha, that is EXACTLY what I was doing at last night's class too :-D And it is SUCH good news about your niece. Glad you like your morning green monster, those are SO good for you!

Michelle (michabella) said...

Dear Punta Cana.... TWSS!; TAKE THAT CANCER! YOU PIECE OF SH*T...woah, sorry; Pls tell me more about this bacon'geddon and how I can get in on this!!!!!!???? And you probably provide GREAT entertainment for your neighbors.

Aly @ Analyze This said...

I'm a big fan of these little notes!

Corporate America one - you know my opinion/view on this

Cancer - fucking shit needs to go away

Superbowl - Ahhhhh, pure bliss. So much fun. I miss it so much. Is it normal for a city to miss an event this much?! I think not.

Jax said...

Ha! Love it. And especially love the winter half assing it. I need it to go back to that too.

Mateya said...

Glad the Green Monster has taken over your world :)

I heard many good things about Indy hosting the SB. Nice work.

Al said...

Love it when you do this - you're edge and attitude reign supreme and I end up laughing outloud through the whole thing! I'm trying to get behind that green stuff, but I don't know how to give up coffee...

Thinkin of ya lady, have an awesome weekend!!


Courtney B said...

Hahaha! I LOVE your letters!
I need to start drinking green monsters each morning. And I mist admit.... I gave up on zumba. I look like a fool every time I try it :)
And I'm definitely praying for your niece!

Marian said...

My dad raved about Indy when he was there for the Super Bowl...made me super jealous!

And I honestly think we'd be soul roommates because I am the exact same way with running around my place semi-clothed...and always flashing the neighbors accidentally:)