I think it's about time for some little letters, no?
Dear green monster,
You are pretty much the equivalent of crack to my body. I crave you ever morning, and feel 900x better throughout the rest of the day compliments of you. Thank you for weaseling your way into my life.
I know you probably wouldn't approve of the fact that I photoshopped communion glasses to look like jello shots. I needed to though. Please don't condemn me to hell
You're pretty much getting your ass kicked right now. Funny how you thought you could just show up and rock my not-even-2-year-old niece's world. She's got other plans. So pack up your shit, and get out. We already took the time to evict your tumor, so move along!
Dear Saint Valentine,
That day, the one dedicated completely to you, is about to rock my world. It may, quite possibly, be the best Valentine's Day EVER if all goes as planned. Want a hint as to my plans: Bacon'geddon.
I am bound and determined to conquer you. However, until that day comes where I can samba without looking like a 3 year old doing the potty dance... I will contain my zumba lessons to the private confines of my own home.
If any of you ever happen to glance in my window, I apologize. You guys have got to think I'm effin weird. I am constantly running around half-clothed, flashing the world because I forget to close my blinds. I am always dancing my way around the house (and I'm not talking waltzing, I'm talkin pop-lock-n-droppin it as I clean up the living room). I run around chasing my dog like a madman. I have a million and 12 half finished projects. I leave my garage door open half the time, and my keys hanging in the door the other half. Yea.... sorry. I'll try to reel it in a notch
We absolutely rocked it for Super Bowl. I cannot count how many out-of-towners raved about the people to me. LOVED it. So awesome. I just wanted to embrace the entire city full of people in a group hug Sunday night and never let them all go home.
I liked you better when you were just half-assing it. Can we go back to that?
Dear Punta Cana,
You're, what, like a month away? I'm so ready to be in you. (heh, cue 12 year old boy giggles)
Dear corporate America,
Don't make the wrong choice. I'm just going to leave it at that for now.