I just can't....

And today, for your viewing pleasure, I bring to you a compilation of things that I literally can't even...  (accompanied by an unrelated, yet surprisingly fitting photo) 

-Crock pot meals. If I wanted all my food to share the exact same texture I'd just throw it into a blender. Gag me.

-Tinder. Do you smell the desperation? It seems to be wafting. Spare me, I know you 'JUST DO IT CAUSE ITS SO FUNNY'. I don't buy it.

-Prepackaged cheese slices (I'm lookin at you Kraft). Velvetta as well. Ew. Actually most yellow cheeses kind of weird me out... cheese is made from dairy, and dairy is white

-Food scented candles or body washes/lotions. I don't want my house or myself to smell like a perky peach, or a snickerdoodle. People like to eat perky peaches and snickerdoodles, please don't eat me. (bath salts are a problem enough, I'm not into tempting ravenous druggies even more)

-Paper plates (apparently I've got a chip on my shoulder regarding the kitchen). Unless I am sitting in a lawn chair on a grassy knoll and there is a hot dog making its way from the grill grates to my mouth, use a real plate. We are not in college anymore.

-Palazzo pants. Stop glorifying patterned gauchos. I don't care if they feel like  you're wearing pajamas. My yoga pants feel like I'm wearing pajamas, but that doesn't mean I should wear those in public either.

-People who text you asking how you are, and let the conversation die. What is the point? Did you just get a desperate urge to know that I am at work, and doing well? Did that satisfy your craving? Ok, catch up with you again in a week!

-Coors Light. Just, Coors Light.

-And flip-flops. My god could they MAKE a more obnoxious shoe? I can't even formulate an onomatopoeia for that sound, it's so annoying. Threwp... threwp... threwp...

-Bae. What is that? The sound a goat makes?

I should just stop now. I'm curious to know what everyone else Can't Even today!? I can't be alone here...


Jen said...

I want to punch people in the face that say Bae!!!!!!! My brother in law calls his wife bebbah and that is even more annoying lol.

K said...

We use paper plates all the time. And plastic utensils. I can't be bothered to wash one.more.thing. Haha.

The text thing though... can't stand it. Did you just need to check me off your list? Item #1: pretend to be a good friend and ask how they are doing. Check! If you really cared.. you would know!

Jess said...

The bae thing drives me up the wall! wth is that?

I"m all about flip flops though. I live in them bc sand & ocean does not get along with sneakers and boots.

Jenn @ West Sac Honey said...

Alright we have a problem.. I love coors light.. What do you prefer instead? Don't even go to Bud Light.. That's horrible..

Palazzo pants need to die..

Carolyn said...

OMG! Paper plates and palazzo pants. YES YES YES. Seriously. :)