What happened to love?


Do you ever find yourself in conversation with an older gentleman, probably someone's grandpa, and he gets on the topic of his late wife. Do you notice the glimmer he gets in his eye? The smirk when he mentions those quirks shes had, the love they shared, the longing ever since she passed?

Fast-forward to modern day men, and that glimmer is gone. I can't tell you the last time a guy brought up a relationship and he actually seemed happy to be in it. When he didn't call her "crazy" within the first 10 minutes, or complain about the things she does, the things she says.

What happened? Where did the love go? When did we, as a generation, lose that sense of pride and commitment to a relationship, to our 'partner'?

It's refreshing to hear a guy bragging on his girl, instead of complaining about her. It's adorable to watch a fellas eyes light up when his girl walks into a room, as opposed to hearing him groan and make some one-off comment. It's admirable when it's clear a man can't get enough of her, and has eyes for no one else, instead of trying to flirt with any other woman around.

This isn't some feminist rant about holding doors or paying for the tab. It's just a mind dump where I confess that it makes me sad. It makes me sad that all these guys date these great girls and act like they could care less if they were even around.

Maybe that's part of the reason I continue to chose to be single. I don't want to juts be in a relationship because it's expected. I want to be in one because I can't get enough of someone, and they can't get enough of me. I want to be in one where we make each other awesome, and happy, and elated and maybe this is just me dreaming un-achievable dreams, but I find that hard to believe when I've met so many grandpa's and grandma's who still have that glimmer in their eye.


Jamie said...

I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've commented on your blog after what seems like years of reading!

I just wanna scream AMEN!!

I facilitate a class for domestic violence offenders and it never fails that EVERY class the guys are calling their girlfriends/fiances/wives/baby mamas "crazy". And yet when we talk about how they should end the relationship if they feel that way they immediately come back with "oh I can't leave her, I love her". Really, dude? You "love" her but you call her crazy on the regular and have put your hands on her at least once to get into this class.

It makes me nuts. Where have all the good men gone?? My grandpa was married to my grandma for 50 years before she passed away and I have not one memory of him ever calling her crazy or any other awful name.

Great post but I wish it didn't have to be an issue!

Kay said...

Yesssss! I really get sick of hearing any of my guy friends talk poorly CONSTANTLY about their girlfriends. Why are you with her if you have not one nice thing to say? Also, puts me and everyone else in an awkward spot when you bring her around. Frustrating and unnecessary.

Jess said...

Amen. This is one of those things that bother me about our generation. The 'cool' thing to to is be a player or complain that your chick is crazy. Where did men get this idea?

Nikki said...

AMEN sista! I have to say men like that are few and far between! Although I have to admit I hit the jackpot wit Mr. Big Truck!

K said...

My rule of thumb has always been that you should be with someone when even when it's bad and it is hard, it's still a million times better than being without them. If you don't have that all consuming, goose bumps and butterflies love, it isn't worth it.

Jen said...

This is so true!!!!! You hit the nail on the head for sure.

Kate @ Another Clean Slate said...

Never, ever settle! I've been there and it's more trouble than its worth. Far better to be single and happy!

Katie said...

It still exists. I spent years struggling thru relationships where it wasn't lasting love. And then I just stopped I didn't date anyone and just worked on me and my relationship with Christ. I was content and then my true love showed up and I pushed it away but he was persistent. We aren't grandparents yet (our son is only days old) but it's true love his eyes sparkle for me. Patience sometimes takes years.