6.18.2013

Paleo Fail-eo

I've been telling my friend Whit I was going to do the Whole 30/Paleo thing for, oh who knows, somewhere around the past 2 years?

So after a brief string of multiple migraines(which I'm pretty sure I can attribute to both the lung and the ex, but who's keeping tabs) I decided I was finally going to take the plunge. She was so pumped, and even said she'd do it with me.

I read a bunch of blogs, scoured the internet for recipe ideas, loaded up a grocery cart with kale and spaghetti squash and coconut oil, the whole shebang. I was a little hesitant, because frankly a world without Goldfish crackers or bourbon isn't exactly a world I want to live in. But I committed.

I was kicking ass and taking names for two whole days, until this gorgeous sunny day happened upon central Indy and I just HAD to meet a friend at a local brewhouse patio for an afterwork wind-down.

I opted for a steak salad and tequila, the most paleo-friendly of liquors. One thing led to another and somehow the waiter decided to bring us shots of Jack and as I stared into that little brown vessel of amber whiskey I realized there was a very slim chance I could go another 28 days on this super strict plan that told you no cocktails were allowed, and so I lifted her high and took her down in one swig.


The night quickly snowballed into cucumber vodka lemonades, lobster mac & cheese and halfbaked cookies. We did however make some lovely new friends who felt it necessary to pick up our tab at the end of the night, which counteracts the guilt I had for only lasting 2 days.

At least I came out of that little experiment with a newfound love of spaghetti squash. And a heavy appreciation for anyone who can commit to something like that. That's gotta count for something right.

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11 comments:

Michelle W said...

whit tried to get me to go a month without sugar. like anything at all with sugar in it (aka carbs aka EVERY SINGLE THING IN MY DIET) i told her if i went paleo i would probably die. eliminating sugar was supposed to be a baby step.
i failed miserably to say the least but goddamnit shes a freakin saint for having the motivation and willpower that she does.

KRISTIN said...

HAHAHA! This is amazing! I just cannot get on board any diet plan that doesn't include booze and pasta! Have you tried the Honey Whiskey & Ginger yet???

jayme said...

if the cucumber vodka lemonade isn't a part of the diet plan, the diet plan shouldn't exist. and same goes for the lobster mac n cheese.

at least you have a new appreciation for the freaks willing to sacrifice happiness for health. and i use the term "freaks" in the nicest way possible. :)

julia rose. said...

every time i go to try some new "lifestyle change" a patio drunken night interrupts it- just like this one. oh wells... cocktails are better than anything, always.

heidi said...

I can never carry through on those super strict plans either. It's just not right to give up everything great in life is it?

Heidi’s Wanderings

Jennifer said...

I would never be able to do this either. No pasta would kill me.

Michelle (michabella) said...

Hey, cheers for trying! ;)

Monica said...

Haha I had the same problem...every time I have tried to do it there its the drinks that ruin me!

Melissa Jo said...

I keep thinking I want to try the whole 30 day thing, but when I think about it I can't help but KNOW there is no WAY I couldn't give into temptation, having a drink at the pool, beach or lake... I mean.. I keep putting off, so maybe this winter when I'm not tempted as much! ha!

Carolyn said...

HAHAHAHA! This is EXACTLY what would happen if I tried it. :)

Nikki said...

HA! I feel ya sister! I eat healthy dont get me wrong but I cant commit to something so strick! I live with the 90/10 rule 90% of the time I'm on my shit 10% not so much