These days, I hit up Starbucks on one of two occasions:
1) if someone has given me a gift card, or 2) if someone else is buying.

Being that my 21st* birthday was Sunday, of course I'm armed with gift cards. (*how long can I keep this 21st birthday facade going? I wish I blogged on a graphic calculator, so I could literally type 21^5... actually I don't even think that's the proper mathology, but then again I did drop out of calculus as soon as I got my acceptance letter to art school. And I'm rambling.)


I swung into Starbucks yesterday after leaving work, I had somewhere to be and by some miracle of God I was running slightly early. After scoffing at the pumpkin spice littered menu, I struggled to decide what I want.

I'm probably the cheese standing alone when I say this... but 'bucks just makes their flavored coffees too damn sweet for me. And I'm not about to be THAT girl with 37 cliff notes to my order because I'm not a fan of drinking spit-in coffee, and we all know that's what 'only one-third of a lump of sugar, 135degrees, steamed soy milk" leads to.

I finally settled with a good ol' large iced green tea.

To which I was corrected that I wanted a "VENTI".

Out of habit I rolled my eyes, and this ensued:
"Dude... did you know what I meant when I said large?"
"Well, of course but it is referred to as a venti here"
"But you knew when I said large which cup size I was referencing?"
"....yes ma'am"
"...then don't be an asshole."

I pulled around to the window, handed him my gift card as he delicately Bieber-flipped his blond locks, and handed me my LARGE iced green tea.

And I drove on down the road enjoying my spit-filled tea. I don't even know how you "regulars" deal with this daily


♥ Marcy ♥ said...

BAHAHAHAHAHA I go there occasionally... I mean I know what a grande is compared to a venti or what the fuck ever but I still say small, med, large. If they ever corrected me I would feel the need to throat punch them. Drink on sistah!

Anonymous said...

I agree with Marcy. I throat punch would definitely be in order.

Rebecca Jo said...

This made me bust out laughing...

I now go to Burger King & ask for a Venti unsweet tea... I'm totally screwed up

Aly said...

Haha this is awesome!

Jen said...

Haha wow...what a tool.

Kristin said...

haha sadly im a regular, but I totally see your point

undomestic mama said...

This is hilarious since I quite literally live in the land of Starbucks - the place where it all originated. When ordering an iced green tea, I get half classic which means half the syrup, and I worried about the same thing but I'm told by people I know who actually work there that they're so used to a million requests that they don't really mind.