I can't think of a way to describe this past weekend except curve ball.
I remember telling LT, as we were driving back from Michigan 2 weekends ago how excited I was that racing season was over, we would have so many free weekends to do fun stuff. We decided we would spend all of Labor Day weekend together in the ultimate laid-back, unwind, lounge around kind of way.
Fast forward to the last day of August. I ran out to grab lunch and my phone rang while I was waiting on my order. "Hi babe... I uh, I have good news and I have bad news", he said. I don't know about you, but that phrase always has a way of making my heart sink.
"I was offered a job, the pay is amazing...." he told me, then a long pause, "but it's in Chicago. They need me there by 8 am tomorrow. I'll be working seven days a week, 8-7 every day pretty much."
About as quickly as my mind started reeling the tears started falling.
What? No. This wasn't fair.
It was Friday, the kickstart to our ultimate laid-back, unwind, lounge around kind of weekend. The start to us enjoying the off season and not spending every weekend racing. The start to all of the fun dates we talked about going on, places we wanted to go, concerts we wanted to see.
And just like that, here we are 6 days into this new 'thing'. What do you even call it? Our new arrangement? Our new life? Our new long-distance relationship?
It sucks. I think part of the reason it's been such a struggle for me was because I was completely blind-sided. I knew he had been looking for something to fill up the off season, but I didn't expect this soon, I didn't expect him to have to leave the next morning, I didn't expect him to move three hours away, I didn't expect a seven day work week.
So, naturally I cried a lot. I know it's a seriously amazing opportunity that he couldn't pass up, and I really can't blame him. But my selfish side has spent a lot of time moping. I've never done this long-distance thing, I don't know how to do it. It's been a week of struggle.
I know all you are going "well good thing he isn't in the military and deployed" or "Chels get over yourself, he's only 3 hours away" but me and the "unknown" don't get along well, and right now we don't even know how long this gig will last. Weeks? Months? Years?
I always had joked with him about how I couldn't be surprised. Well, kudos boy, you pulled a hell of a surprise over on me.
So... there you have it. There's the update on that front. Welcome to the Chels & LT, Long-Distance Edition. Suggestions and advice welcome.
22 comments:
That sucks. I know you know that. I'm not going to be much help with long distance relationship advice, but I have tons of sympathy for you! At least you can visit him in a cool city, no? No? OK. Well, I feel for you chica. Virtual, non-creepy hug coming your way! xoxo
That sucks, I'm so sorry. I wish I had some advice to give, but I can give tips on where to go for date nights when you visit him in Chicago! :)
I'm sorry friend! Jake and I did long distance for 3 years while I was in school... NOT fun stuff! :(
Bleh. Long distance sucks. It is so hard, but it is possible. Take the megabus up to see him! It's about 20 bucks each way. And thank G for technology. I hope it gets easier for you friend! xoxo
Skype, Skype, Skype! It's not the same as his arms around you after a rough day but it does help to actually see his face!
I hate to use an old cliche` but "if it's meant to be, love will find a way".
Best of luck - M and I did it for 2 years in college - and survived, so that should be reassuring. I just went to visit when I could and we got a long distance plan phone wise.
It will get better once you get the swing of things
Oh bummer!!! You guys can do it. :)
You just have to put in the effort. Phone calls, Skype dates, sending good old fashion snail mail. My fiance and I are long distance. He's a Marine in SC and I live in VA. And soon I'll be in boot camp so we won't even have calls/skype/email. You just have to be creative.
What a blindside. I am sure it will be fine. Just be patient (much easier said than done).
FIRST of all- It never once crossed my mind to say, "Good thing he's not military" or "Get over yourself". The first thing that crossed my mind was "fuck". (Sorry my loose use of expletives...just trying to paint an accurate picture of my reaction for you.)
Oh darlin...all I can say is- Time. Time will tell, time will see if you can make it work, or if it's too much of a stretch for you both. A seven day work week? Eleven hour days? It sounds absolutely brutal! What is he doing? I know he's younger than us, so he's got to pay his dues maybe, but I feel like we all at one point or another have to ensure that we are prioritizing what's important in our personal lives as well- because if we aren't, then what the hell is the point of making money? I'm absolutely not saying he's NOT prioritizing. I'm just giving food for thought.
I'm here for you. Gosh knows you've had my back with the questions of the heart before. I'm here to talk anytime you need me.
xoxox
I wish I had something to say, I'm sorry. Is this permanent?
I have no advice or suggestions other than long distance does suck. This situation sucks. I'm sorry. :( I'm sure you all will figure something out that works for you though.
Oh Chels. I'm so sorry. I know how much it sucks, but you gotta think positively as much as possible. Skype dates and phone calls will become the highlight of your day. Enjoy those moments. It won't last forever. xoxo
Uh ditto to what Lacey said. I've done long distance to both civilian and military boys and it's hard no matter what. You still have emotions and they're still valid.
But the fact that it's three hours is pretty wicked awesome. You can jaunt back and forth between cities on the weekend (and you can take the train cuz it's cheap and you can drink while traveling). But still make time for phone and Skype dates. And send little notes and packages to make the week days go by quicker!
Aw I'm sorry girl! I did the long distance thing in two different relationships (one was planned, the other I was blind-sided too). They are NEVER easy, but they ARE survivable. The only advice I have is skype as much as you can. Try maybe to make a habit out of it, like every night at a certain time you do it? And text throughout the day, even if you're not physically with each other it's still really nice having that "contact".
Keep your head up and remind yourself that it's only temporary (even though I know that hearing that doesn't help right now).
that is really unfortunate, but it could always turn into something amazing! just try to remain positive, because being doubtful, selfish, and negative with take its toll.
I'm driving through chicago next friday if you want to car pool and i can drop you off.
well boo. that does suck, girl! i did long distance in college and it is hard, but it's not at all impossible. those phone calls and skype dates will make your day!
I know exactly how it is - Dust and I have to be apart every monday-friday and it's extremely difficult to be patient and satisfied with that.
Oh girl that sucks! It's great he was able to find a job but I do not blame you for being upset! Especially when you had NO time to accept it and deal with it!
Chin up friend, you guys will find a way to make it work!
OH NO!!! You poor thing! Joey and I did long distance for four years when we were in college. It wasn't the easiest thing, I myself cried many a tears too, but we do credit our happy healthy relationship we have now to it. We learned how important communication is and that we could make it through anything. Not to say we didn't have a few bumps in the rode and aren't still learning, but it is doable, as unpleasant as it is. PLUS I bet you will be like the rockstar of long distance girlfriends, I cant imagine how many cookies and treats that dudes going to get! XO girly! YOU CAN DO IT :)
Chelsea, I am so sorry to read this post - my heart is breaking for you! BUT I also have good news - long distance isn't always as bad as it sounds... Keep smiling and stay strong! You guys can do this.
You should follow Alison from Long Distance Loving blog as she does weekly posts on couples who are surviving or have survived long distance - and it helps knowing others!
My husband and I did long distance between South Africa and London for 4 years before we got married and we had our ups and downs, laughs and tears but we are much stronger now and blissfully happy too!
Good luck girl x
Welcome to my world...
But know that I understand and could offer you hours of advice, but it doesn't make it any easier. You just have to take it day by day and trust in the relationship.
Love to you sweetie - hang in there.
xo
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