6.12.2012

The Truth

I got into a Rainbows and Butterflies, Kittens and Unicorns conversation with my sweet girl Al earlier today. I don't think we all necessarily try to paint the prettiest picture, but maybe you all are like me and just don't like to ruminate on the ugly side of life. You come to it, you conquer it, you move on.


The truth is, owning a home alone is hard. Not just financially, but physically and mentally. Every bill that comes in, any thing that breaks or needs fixed, all the projects I leave half-finished because I lack time, money, or just plain don't have the skills. It's been a huge adjustment going from living at home to being alone. Mowing grass, laundry, dishes, cooking, grocery shopping, everything. It's tough when there is no one else there to help you out.


The truth is, I don't like to rely on others. I hate that feeling. I don't like having to ask for help. I'm way too stubborn, and a lot of the time it just makes things even harder on myself. 


The truth is, I get burnt out on my job. Sure the industry is a blast, but I work my ass off all the time and it's still not enough. And a lot of time I still don't feel like I quite 'fit in'. 


The truth is, part of the reason I never mentioned LT before on here was because I didn't think he'd be around for long.  And when I started to realize he might, I panicked, and tried my hardest to push him away. Because I've still got it in my head that falling for someone just leads to heartbreak.


The truth is, sometimes it's a little daunting to look around and realize a lot of people your age are either climbing a corporate ladder or establishing families.


The truth is, friends are constantly coming and going from my life. Friendship is hard to maintain, it's not like high school where you saw each other 1st, 3rd and 5th period and at lunch in the Commons.  We're all going our own paths and struggling to figure out how to make schedules mesh up or find halfway points.


The truth is, I spend money I shouldn't on vacations because they are my vice. My peace of mind. Sure my 40year old air conditioner is ready to die any minute now but I figure in 20 years I'll have better memories of that week in the Caribbean than that time I sweated my butt off with no A/C.



The truth is though, I'm tough. I grew up watching strong-as-hell parents who never let anything set them back. They started with little and built the life they wanted, and that's where I'm headed too. No matter how many truths I struggle with, I guess the only one that matters is knowing I can handle it.
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20 comments:

Al said...

This was beautiful, gorgeous. And honestly? I know others in the blog world don't dwell like I do and put the ugly truth out there for everyone to see, but this post made me feel a little less like the exception to the perfect blogger rule. Thanks for sharing, and know that I understand. On letting your heart love again, on living alone, and feeling the pressure of other twenty somethings doing all the corporate/babymaking things I feel I should be doing.

Love to you, friend.
xoxo

Carolyn said...

I hear ya!! I don't like to put the "negative" stuff out there either. But sometimes it's necessary. And sometimes it feels really good to get it out there! :)

Amanda said...

The truth is, I'm stubborn like you and don't like to rely on others/ask for help. I also have my own vices, like buying different activities, because they're fun!

Caroline said...

Love this! And it's all so real!

Nikki said...

Girl as a fellow woman who is holding down a house by herself I totally feel you on that first truth! It is time consuming and money sucking and sometimes it flat out sucks but ya know what the good out weighs the bad right?

Also can I just say that I couldn't put this better than you already did: The truth is, friends are constantly coming and going from my life. Friendship is hard to maintain, it's not like high school where you saw each other 1st, 3rd and 5th period and at lunch in the Commons. We're all going our own paths and struggling to figure out how to make schedules mesh up or find halfway points.

I may have to barrow that and send it to a friend who just does not get that!

Sandra said...

I'm pretty sure you'll conquer most of the things that come your way. You're a tough cookie. Don't push LT away. Not all relationships lead to heartache. Sure you can't know which one won't lead to that. But if it's not gonna work, he'll come and go and you'll move on. You have accomplished so much and you don't "need" a guy! Any guy would be lucky to have you. So if they screw up, you know it's all their fault!

R said...

Believe me you're not alone. I'm 27 yrs old and about to start a new career because despite having a great degree I'm not even on the bottom step of any corporate ladder and we won't even talk about my lack of dating life which leads to lack of family planning.

Kristen at First Name Smith said...

what a great post! I loved your honesty. And that whole friend business? Shit is bananas hard.

Britt @ The Adventures of Josh and Britt said...

This is such an awesome post, I always like visiting your blog because you are so positive, upbeat and fun! I totally know what you mean about friendships being harder to keep/maintain... Sometimes growing up sucks!! :)

Kate said...

Oh how I love this post. Not because I want to read about hardships, but because I appreciate rawness. I had no clue that you owned a home. No clue. Wow! I could never be a home owner on my own and big you SO much credit for doing so!I really think that I'm going to use this post as a template for my own, if you don't mind. And the friend thing? Ugh, yeah... It only gets harder. Seriously, and it sucks so bad!

Melanie said...

Love this. I feel the exact same way with owning a house on my own. Financially, it is so much harder than I ever thought it could be.

And friends are hard to keep. Even harder to let go sometimes. I never thought in a million years that my twenties would be so difficult.

Kenj said...

This is such an awesome post girl! It is so raw and so real. I am so happy you posted this. Keep going the track your on. You will do wonderful things in this world!

Cristina said...

Thank you for sharing that! I am a single gal who just bought a house as well. I know exactly how you feel. It's so tough, and although it feels good knowing that you're an independent 20 something who owns a home, sometimes you just want someone to share it with! Keep your chin up and live life to the fullest! And I hope LT treats you right and makes you happy!

tara said...

i could never own a home on my own- not financially/emotionally/physically- i give you HUGE kudos for that! hoping things continue to go well for you and your man! :)

Alicia @ To Columbus and Beyond! said...

Chelsea I love this and I feel the same way you do in many ways. All of my girlfriends are pretty much in really secure jobs, married, and either pregnant or trying to get pregnant. I am single, back in school, and working as a substitute teacher. I feel like shit when I think about it - but this is my life, what I have chose and I need to MAN UP and accept it. And enjoy it. Even when it means going broke taking a vacation (unless I schmooze a guy who will fly me to Vegas on his tab)

Love you!

Melissa Jo said...

Life is hard for sure, but you aren't given the cards that you hold for any reason other than you can play them and play them well.

I need to start spending my $ on the more important things like vacation instead of the mundane every day. Your trips have inspired me to figure out one of my own, hopefully soon !!

Michelle (michabella) said...

I heart you Chelsea and I love the person you are, inside and out, and being so open. <3

Monica said...

Great post! We all have our not so pretty or happy sides to tings but as long as you know your tough enough to handle them that is all that matters... :)

julia rose said...

New followahhhh here!! I love your truths, sister! It really shows how mature, strong, and independent you are. And that's something to be so proud of! I definitely need to be spending more money on vacations though, instead of putting them off because "I can't afford them" but then go blow money on random things.
Have a wonderful day!
xoxo, Julia

whit said...

Ooooh yeah. That week in the Caribbean is TOTALLY, TOTALLY worth it. I wish I could go back...DAILY!!!

Kudos to you for making it work!!