I got into a Rainbows and Butterflies, Kittens and Unicorns conversation with my sweet girl Al earlier today. I don't think we all necessarily try to paint the prettiest picture, but maybe you all are like me and just don't like to ruminate on the ugly side of life. You come to it, you conquer it, you move on.
The truth is, owning a home alone is hard. Not just financially, but physically and mentally. Every bill that comes in, any thing that breaks or needs fixed, all the projects I leave half-finished because I lack time, money, or just plain don't have the skills. It's been a huge adjustment going from living at home to being alone. Mowing grass, laundry, dishes, cooking, grocery shopping, everything. It's tough when there is no one else there to help you out.
The truth is, I don't like to rely on others. I hate that feeling. I don't like having to ask for help. I'm way too stubborn, and a lot of the time it just makes things even harder on myself.
The truth is, I get burnt out on my job. Sure the industry is a blast, but I work my ass off all the time and it's still not enough. And a lot of time I still don't feel like I quite 'fit in'.
The truth is, part of the reason I never mentioned LT before on here was because I didn't think he'd be around for long. And when I started to realize he might, I panicked, and tried my hardest to push him away. Because I've still got it in my head that falling for someone just leads to heartbreak.
The truth is, sometimes it's a little daunting to look around and realize a lot of people your age are either climbing a corporate ladder or establishing families.
The truth is, friends are constantly coming and going from my life. Friendship is hard to maintain, it's not like high school where you saw each other 1st, 3rd and 5th period and at lunch in the Commons. We're all going our own paths and struggling to figure out how to make schedules mesh up or find halfway points.
The truth is, I spend money I shouldn't on vacations because they are my vice. My peace of mind. Sure my 40year old air conditioner is ready to die any minute now but I figure in 20 years I'll have better memories of that week in the Caribbean than that time I sweated my butt off with no A/C.
The truth is though, I'm tough. I grew up watching strong-as-hell parents who never let anything set them back. They started with little and built the life they wanted, and that's where I'm headed too. No matter how many truths I struggle with, I guess the only one that matters is knowing I can handle it.