6.05.2012

Little Letters

Dear Neighbor,
I still find it hilarious that you think I travel a lot for work (guess I really never am home). While I appreciate your gracious offer to mow my lawn for $40 a week, it took everything in me not to laugh in your face. What kind of ganja are you smoking?


Dear Squeezable Applesauce pouches,
I realize it may be a little odd that anyone over the age of 24 months eats you. But you really are a pretty handy snack. Overpriced, for sure, but delicious. 


Dear hipster from the Food Truck Fest on Friday night,
Where in the WORLD did you get your dinosaur embroidered pants? I'm beyond envious.


Dear LT,
Oh hey, you discovered the blog. Hope you enjoyed seeing your face plastered on it. My followers love you already (that's code for dont F this up).


Dear PBR,
Should I stop right now and question what my life has become if I am addressing Pabst directly? Anyways, Dear Pabby... thanks for becoming my go-to mixer. I don't know how you do it, but you sure do make vodka even tastier.


Dear Mikey,
I would totally cheat on you with Marc. I'm sorry but his chrono's are growing on me. I was once a dedicated MK girl, but times are a'changin.


Dear plants,
It's funny, before I bought my house I had all these visions of frolicking in gorgeous gardens I tended. (go ahead, pause and reread that)

HA.

Who has time for that? I can't even remember to water plants that sit on a windowsill directly above my kitchen sink. Sorry I mass-murdered all of you.


Dear Adam Levine,
Hi. I miss you in my life on Mondays. That's all


Dear Niece,
I want to think that you were carrying around a shotglass saying DRINK DRINK last night simply because it seemed to be a small-person-sized cup to you, not because of something you picked up from your Aunt Chelsea. Please don't prove me wrong.

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19 comments:

Carolyn said...

All I got out of this was that you mix PBR and vodka. Seriously? That's nasty. HAHAHAHAHA :)

K said...

OOOh LT found the blog? Big A knows about it, but has never bothered to read it. Probably smart. Haha. And PBR with vodka? REALLY?

Sandra said...

Ha! Great letter to LT! Here's mine to him: We are ALWAYS Team Chelsea! :)

Aly said...

I think you need to elaborate on this PBR and vodka drink! And, he didn't take long to find the blog!

Kelly said...

Hahaha, I have the same thoughts as the other girls-- Your'e mixing PBR with vodka?? ;-D And um, as much as I like your little abbreviations, I'm slow on the pick up... Marc... chrono watches? Who/what are you talking about?

Monica's Notebook said...

Hahahha such great letters! Especially the last one! :]

Lacey in the City said...

How is baby girl feeling??!

Monica said...

Love this! Ummm PBR & Vokda?? I have never heard this before! I love that shot glass & niece thing :)

Amber @ A Little Pink in the Cornfields said...

Beer and vodka? That just sounds odd... yes, please elaborate. :p

Kristen at First Name Smith said...

ah ha ha! these are great!!!

Holly said...

Seriously, you mix PBR and vodka?! Girl, you are hard core. Let's be drinking buddies :)

Krystal said...

dino pants? must. find.

Kendra said...

hahaha! Your niece is adorable.. I am certain it is not you! P.s. my 21st was sunday and I demanded Loopy because of you.. and I received it in large amounts..now I must know what to mix it with!

tara said...

i miss adam levine too. sigh.

treasuretromp.com said...

haha this is great

Melissa Jo said...

Love your letters! $40/week that is ridiculous I probably would have laughed too.

Even being a prior plant geek and plant farm worker, I must confess I recently killed a house plant. WTF, how do you kill a houseplant!

Melissa Jo said...

Love your letters! $40/week that is ridiculous I probably would have laughed too.

Even being a prior plant geek and plant farm worker, I must confess I recently killed a house plant. WTF, how do you kill a houseplant!

Sweet Tea In Sicily said...

Hahaha You're still eating the squeezable pouch apple sauces?! Too funny :)

And OMG, your niece! That is just too cute.

xo,
Ash

Sweet Tea In Sicily said...

Hahaha You're still eating the squeezable pouch apple sauces?! Too funny :)

And OMG, your niece! That is just too cute.

xo,
Ash